Princess Isabella & Sir Edward II: Forever Yours
by Princess Candy-Lollypop-Star
Summary: Sequel to Princess Isabella & Sir Edward Forever Starcrossed;Alice feels more alone than ever as the arrival of her baby draws closer.Bella is hopeful to find Edward, hold him one last time,but the truth soon unfolds.And Edward lives on. Ch 25 up!
1. Seems Like an Eternity

**A/N: Hey all! This is the sequel to my fan fic, "Princess Isabella & Sir Edward: Forever Starcrossed". It's all about Bella and Alice living and coping with this new life they both have. Bella's new life: dealing with her new husband, trying to find a way to Edward (who she still believes is alive) and Alice: dealing with being pregnant without Jasper. Very good, most of it already planned.**

**Oh, and Edward is still in the story...he still has his POV sometimes...in heaven, so don't get totally depressed.**

**And if I don't get at least 10 reviews, I'm not going to write a word!**

**Queen Isabella's POV**

It's been 8 months, 2 weeks and 3 days since I've seen my husband. And it has been 8 months, 2 weeks and 2 days since I made the biggest mistake of my life.

Marrying King Jacob.

But he was not my husband, no matter what people said; My husband was somewhere in the kingdom, waiting for me. My husband was someone I loved deeply, with my heart and soul. Not the tyrant who forced me to marry him, forced me to live with him and sleep in the same bed with him. But he was not my husband.

I sighed, thinking again about my the mess my life had become. I was in my old bedroom, spending the day as I normally did; Looking out my window, thinking about and dreaming about Edward.

My best friend Alice often joined me, sitting in my room with me. We spent all of our time together now; We were all each other had. But we didn't mind. We were best friends and throughout these eight months I found something to do: help Alice with her pregnancy. In one month and 2 weeks, she was going to be a mommy and I was going to be an aunt. The thought of that made me smile. It was really the only thing that had made me smile for eight months, 2 weeks and 2 days. The thought of Alice having a child and the thought of us raising him or her together...

But she wasn't here now; She was with the doctor for her regular check up, just to make sure everything was going okay. And I was bored, here. Using my memories of Edward to try and fill the void left by the lack of Jacob's love.

And what I hated most was that he was so close and yet so far; Alice and I often throught of ways to try and escape this place. I've thought of ways to try and find Edward myself, but I was never allowed to leave the castle. Another perk of being married to King Jacob.

When I wasn't dreaming of Edward or thinking of ways to see him, I was hoping and waiting for him to come and rescue me. I missed him more and more each day and I had started wondering if he was thinking about me as much I was him. Didn't he miss me, too? Why wasn't he trying to save me? Did he...not want me...?

No! I pushed that thought straight from my mind; But I often began thinking thoughts like that, more often as time went on. A part of me was actually starting to believe it, another part scolding that part and refusing to believe such a thing. But another part was just...in between. Not sure what to believe anymore. That's the part I felt strongest...

"Edward." I said out loud with a sigh. "Do you still love me?" But I knew no one could hear or answer me.

**Sir Edward's POV**

"Yes Bella, I do. And I think about you everyday." I had been watching Bella ever since I was killed; Like a self-proclaimed guardian angel.

And as such, I was able to know what she was feeling and these feelings of confusion and hurt grew more each and everyday. It worried me and it hurt me. If only Bella knew that I did think about her and I still loved an I would be helping her if I could...but I was here, in heaven.

"How's Bella?" Jasper asked me. He walked over to me, looking over at the edge of the cloud. One thing I really liked about heaven was that I was reunited with my best friend Jasper, who was killed in a war about a week before I was hung.

"She doesn't think I love her." I said turning away. "She-doesn't even know I'm dead; Jacob told her he set me free, remember?" I said. "Maybe Jacob-"

"Screw Jacob; She knows how much you love her." Jasper said following me. I knew he was right, but...I was still hesistant.

"How's Alice?" I asked wanting to change the subject; Thinking about all this guilt I felt...it was too much.

"I still can't believe she's pregnant." he began. "Only one month to go..." he shook his head. When I told him that Alice was pregnant, he already knew. But he still was having mixed feelings. Guilt, happiness. Those were the main two.

"Yeah. Congratulations." I said smiling.

But then I started thinking about how Jasper must feel; I feel guilty enough as it is already. I can't imagine how Jasper must feel, on top of leaving Alice alone he left her alone...with a child. If it were Bella...I'm not sure I could've handled that.

But Jasper and I knew that Alice had Bella and Bella had Alice. They'd help each other no matter what, and we knew that. And as much as we wished we could just, come back to life and help them be happier, we knew it was impossible. But we still would try.

"I'm gonna go check on Alice one more time, before she goes to bed." Jasper said leaving. "See you later." I nodded as he left. I just had to say goodnight to Bella.

"Goodnight, Bella. I love you." I said peering over the cloud again to get a good look at her. "I'll think about you everyday, I promise. I am forever yours."

**A/N: And there you have it! The first chapter! Now, if you liked it and if you want the story to continue, review! Or else I'll just think no one likes it and...I'll stop writing.**

**Come on, people! Just ten reviews to get me on a writer's high! You can do it!**


	2. Without Your Arms to Hold Me

**A/N: For some strange reason...I didn't get a lot of hits! :(**

**Why?! lol; it's okay. I don't blame you. Just review and I'll take care of the hits...**

**IMPORTANT: I NEED YOUR HELP DECIDING THE GENDER OF ALICE'S BABY! WHEN YOU ARE DONE READING AND REVIEWING, GO ONTO MY PROFILE AND VOTE ON THE POLL!! TODAY ONLY!!**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

It was almost time to leave my comforting sanctuary; My old room filled wit so many memories. Some bad, some good...and some just too painful to talk about. But before I got up to leave, I took one last farewell glance out my window. Looking out longingly, as always.

It was sunset by now. And at each and every sunset for the past 8 months, 2 weeks and three days, I couldn't help but think of a time when sunsets used to excite me; Used to fill my heart with hope and excitement and love...when it meant seeing Edward again; Even if it always ending in our bitter sweet goodbyes...

But now the sunset just reminded me of a whole other day that I didn't see Edward...and whole other day he didn't try to save me. It signified the end of another day in my horrible life; It let me know I survived another day (which was good or bad, depending on my mood). But worst of all, it meant that it was time to endure the torturous evenings, requiring me to...be with King Jacob.

"Goodnight, Edward." I said pressing my hand on the window. "I-I love you." I did this everynight; And everynight, it never failed to bring tears to my eyes as it stabbed relentlessly at my heart.

I finally got up to leave, walking slowly in an attempt to stall the evening's unpleaseant events.

"Hey Bella. Let's get this over with..." Alice said meeting me in the hallway. I was thankful that she wouldn't ask if I was ready or how my day was; I think she knew...

But despite how bad my day might have been, Alice always found a way to make me smile. I guess that's just what best friends do. And really, I only smiled when I was with Alice; Moments between me and my best friend were the only thing that made me sincerly and truely happy now.

"So, how's my niece or nephew?" I asked eagerly; I was very excited this whole thing. When I wasn't...moping, Alice and I were preparing for her baby. It consumed a lot of time and kept us both very busy.

"Everything is perfect." she said smiling happily as she absent mindedly rubbed her stomach; She had been doing that for a while now, whether she was aware of it or it was just subconcious. (I think it's her maternal instincts kicking in)

The rest of the walk down to dinner was silent; I don't really think there was much to talk about, but that wasn't different from any other day. But unfortuanately, we walked too fast and got to dinner...early. Something we tried to avoid at all costs.

Jacob sat in his usual seat, with the same emotionless face as always; I groaned to myself as Alice and I took our seats. Dinner was later served.

We ate in silence as always; But even I had to admit, it was too tense and uncomfortable. For a few days after the marriage, he really did try to mend our relationship, but by then it was too late; The damage was done.

I was both relieved and saddened when dinner was over; On one hand, I was relieved that I was free of this terrible tension, but...Alice and I would have to go our seperate ways and I would have to go to bed. In the bedroom that I shared with Jacob. I'd muhc rather just deal with the tension...

I got up and left, heading to my bedroom and hoping that I could avoid Jacob; Sometimes he'd catch up and I'd be forced to walk with him all the way upstairs. But tonight, I was lucky.

As soon as I was in the room, I took my nightgown into my bathroom (thank god we had seperate bathrooms!) and began changing. I took a good look at myself in the mirror; I was a mess. I mean, physically I looked just like I did before; Maybe a little paler, but other than that, the same. But my facial expression scared even me; If someone saw me and didn't know any better, they'd probably think I saw a ghost...but I only looked that way when I was with Jacob. Or anywhere near him...

My heart stopped as I heard the door open; Here comes the tension again...

Only this time, I knew it would be intensified. I stepped out of the bathroom, prepared now for what was to come. We didn't even acknowledge each other as he took his clothes and stepped into his bathroom and I stepped out of mine. I grabbed my brush of my nightstand and put my dress away.

I took my seat by the window and began brushing my hair, looking at the window like I did during the day. Everything was dark now and I knew that Edward would be getting ready for bed now too...with no one to hold in his arms.

Jacob came out and I put my brush down, pulled down the covers on my side of the bed and got in. He got in on his side and we blew out our candles. I didn't close my eyes yet; I wasn't really tired. Instead I looked out the window again, trying to picture Edward in my mind, getting into bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

But in my mind our bed was smaller, so we were closer to each other; That would much better if it were Edward and not Jacob. With Jacob, I had hoped that the bed was as big as possible, so that we didn't have to be anywhere close to each other; I had gotten my wish. This way, I could imagine we had seperate beds. On seperate planets, in seperate worlds.

When I finally fell asleep (which I did everynight) it was the best time of the day; Even better than being in my sanctuary. Because while I slept, I dreamed. And in my dreams, everything was much better. Edward was always there to have his arms around me, and he was always there to kiss and hug and love me...

And, just like before, in our meadow, we saved the kiss to last; But...that's always the part where I woke up.

**A/N: Now review and VOTE ON THE POLL ON MY PROFILE! It's not that hard! And the story can't go on otherwise!**


	3. Eternally Impossible Desires

**A/N: Wow; you people make me feel so special with your reviews!! You rock! And, after much consideration of the results of the poll...I have decided the name and gender of Alice's baby...but you won't find out until later!!**

**Oh, and I'm sorry it took so long to update; state testing and laziness...**

**Oh, btw...another poll! it is very important so go on my profile and vote!**

**Now on with the chapter!**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I woke up; No big deal. I woke up every single day and every single day started with the same empty feeling. That same dream that always ended too soon and that same disappointment of not waking up to Edward's face...

"Good morning." I said just below a whisper; "Edward-I love you." I think some part of me actually expected response, because my heart crumbled when no one answered. If only he knew how much I really thought about him...

**Edward's POV**

I wasn't sleeping; I hardly ever did anymore. I wasn't tired (you know, being in eternal rest and all). So, I usually spent my time watching Bella. And the more I watched her, the more I realized how much I missed her... how much I missed her smile, her voice, the soft touch of her skin...

"I love you so much." I said out loud; I really wanted nothing more than to be back on earth with her, for just one day. To make her understand how much she really means to me and how much I really love her...

And then, the idea dawned on me, just like that; Maybe I really could visit earth...but that, was going to be a difficult task to accomplish... ... ... ... ...

**Princess Isabella's POV**

Wake up, eat breakfast, go find Alice. That's pretty much my whole morning, right there. It was tedious and boring until I finally reached my sanctuary, away from Jacob and away from the cruel reality.

"Bella." Alice greeted me happily as she sat next to me on the bed. "I don't have any doctor stuff to do today...so do you want to go baby shopping?!" she exclaimed. I had to laugh at her enthusiasum.

"Alice! I think we got the baby everything it could possibly want and more! What else do you need to buy? No, scratch that; What do you _want _to buy?" I chuckled.

"Well..." she laughed maliciously. "There are a few things..."

I sighed. "Let's go." And that's how I spent my day; Shopping with Alice was usually a treat for me. Sure shopping got on my nerves, but it not only kept me busy, but it kept me from thinking about Edward...

Because somethings, were just too painful to think about.

**King Jacob's POV**

I knew I had things to do, like I did everyday. But like everyday, I felt to consumed by the guilt, that followed me like a shadow everywhere.

Even 8 months, I still felt so terrible that I had hurt Bella so much. Sometimes, I would wonder if it would be better to just tell her Edward is dead, hope she forgives me and can finally be happy. A few times I even convinced myself that the only reason she isn't happy because she won't let herself; because she'd feel guilty because she still thinks her husband is out there somewhere...if only she knew.

But then, I would always remember how fragile Bella is and how learning all this would crush her little heart...she might even hate me _more _that she already does...(even though I'm sure she probably hates me more than anyone can hate a single person...)

It's just that every single day just made me so angry at myself and so upset at how things were between me and Bella. I loved her, and she knew that. But sometimes, it was so obvious that she didn't love me in anyway.

Every moment we were together, every moment I watched her while she didn't even glance my way, every silent night we spent together...made me want to go back in time and just...change every thing I'd done wrong.

But I knew that was impossible.

**A/N: SORRY that this chapter is so short; My brain is fried from testing and I am having a creative brain-fart at the moment. Anyway, review and if you have any suggestions, they would be much appriciated!!**


	4. Just to Make the Pain Go Away

**A/N: This chapter is important; It is about Edward trying to find out a way to go back to earth, to visit Bella! But...whether he does it or not depends on what you voted on my poll! Will he get permission? Will he be forbidden? READ AND REVIEW!!**

**Edward's POV**

I had to figure out some way to get down to earth and see my Bella! I just could not stand her not knowing the truth about my...eternal state. And I knew she would have to hear it from me; Jacob certainly wasn't going to tell her anytime soon, and even if Alice told her...it just wouldn't be the same.

And so...I decided...I was going to go back to earth and visit my Bella!! (**A/N: Okay! That's the result**) It had to be done; I missed her too much and I knew she missed me. This was too important.

But there was a little flaw in my plan...I didn't have a clue how to go back down to earth. No one ever really went back; I don't really think anyone found a real reason to, but I did. And in order to do that...I would have to see Carlisle.

Carlisle knew everything there was to know about our world; Every secret, every rule...every trap door and path going to where _I _needed to be right now. And as I walked towards Carlisle, who was usually found in his little study by the gate, I was actually nervous. I was nervous because in all reason, he could say no. Hell, he _should_ say no. It was against the rules to ever go back to earth; It was the biggest rule and the only rule we really had to follow! He would think I was crazy just to ask...

But I was also nervous that he would say no, and I wouldn't be able to handle the rejection; I wouldn't be able to handle the fact that I was never going to see my Bella again. I was never going to see her lovely smile, nor was I ever going to see her beautiful chocolate eyes or hair. Or her rosy cheeks, her sweet, musical voice...all to become very distant memories.

My heart already felt like it had been ripped out as I brought my hand to knock on his door. But I couldn't bring myself to it. I almost walked away, but...

"Hello?" he called. Damn. He must have heard me. Well, I couldn't leave now. "Come in, the door's open..." I sighed and opened the door.

"Hi." I greeted him. I had never really seen up that much before. But now that I really looked at him, I saw that his appearance did not at all suggest his actual age. He was only about...20 or 30 when he died and...as wierd as it may sound, he was very...good looking.

"Oh, hello. Edward, isn't it?" he asked getting up to shake my hand. I nodded to answer the question of my name. "Well son, how can I help you?"

"I- I have a question...?" I began. My voice wasn't shaking, but I'm sure he could tell I was nervous. He nodded, telling my to continue. "Is their...a way to possibly...visit earth for a short time?" I finished in a rush. I half expected him to just gape at me and tell me to leave and never come back. But, he smiled.

"Of course there are ways." he said kindly. "Of course. Very secret, but...they are there. But only to be used when absolutely necessary." he added his tone serious. I nodded.

"Yes. I thought so..." I was about to turn to leave; I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. He was very delicate in telling me I couldn't possibly visit the love of my life (okay, he didn't know that part) but I still felt upset. I think he could tell.

"I'm guessing...you would like to go to earth?" he asked in a fatherly voice. It surprised me how gentle he could be...

"Yes." I nodded weakly. Trying not to be disrespectful, I looked at him, though I wished I could stare at the empty floor.

"Is it...important?" he asked. I was quiet. He wouldn't think it was important, but I did. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked in genuine concern. He beckoned for me to sit down in front of his desk. I did so, and began slowly.

"It's...important to me..." I trailed off. "You see, there is this girl...she's my wife actually...and she doesn't exactly know, that I'm..." he understood and nodded. "Because the man who had me killed so he could be with her made her think he just set me free. So she thinks I'm somewhere in the kingdom. She's just so miserable..." I had to look at the floor now. "It's just heart breaking to see the one I love in so much pain..." I stopped again, to take a deep breath. "I just want to make the pain go away. I want to...tell her about my death. She needs to hear it from me." I waited for his reaction.

"I think, that's very sweet of you. And...there might be away..." he stopped, hesitant. "And I agree. This is important. I was young once too, and I know how important love is..." he got up and began looking through books and maps. Finally, he appeared to have found what he was looking for.

He handed it to me and smiled. "Now, you can't use it excessively. Try to space out your visits." I smiled at the plural form of visit. I could see her more than once. "And...I know I'm breaking the rules so," he stopped. "It would be best, if you didn't tell anyone." he stressed.

"Yes, sir." I answered. I was so grateful and ecstatic at that moment. I was in total bliss. I was going to see Bella again! And maybe even more than once! Carlisle was so kind to me...and without thinking I just...hugged him. He was surprised at first...so was I. I let go quickly and began following the map he had given me.

I wanted so badly to tell Jasper first. I ran to him...

"Japser!" I called happily. He turned slowly to me and waved. But I stopped in my tracks. _It would be best if you didn't tell anyone._ That's what he had said. But Jasper needed to see Alice. She was pregnant for god's sake! But...somehow, I knew I just couldn't tell him. It was my secret, my burden, to bare. "I'll- be back later." And a new wave of guilt ran over me. So I ran faster in an attempt to escape it.

I follwed the map exactly; In just a while...Bella would be back in my arms where she belonged.

**A/N: REVIEW!! YOU KNOW YOU'RE ALL HAPPY THAT THEY'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!!**


	5. Forever and a Day

**A/N: Since I write during my school day, when I am not paying attention at all, this chapter is all planned out and very very long! I already have the other chapter written. All I need to do is type it up. But I won't upload onto this site until I get 10-15 reviews! So you know what to do!!**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

Oh the shopping! Oh the horror! By the afternoon, my feet were about ready to fall off after walking around the one store at least a million times. But at least my mind was completly off of Edward...

Oh Edward! Dang it; I was so close to having one day without the painful memories of Edward...one say without wishing (in vain) that he was here next to me.

But I knew those feeling would never go away; There would never, for as long as I lived, be one moment that I would not wish he was here. I would always miss him, always crave his presense, and always want his arms to hold me...

We were just about to leave the shop. The few shops we were allowed to go to. With at least 25 guards watching our EVERY SINGLE MOVE. I pretty much just followed Alice around the store, back and forth. And back again. It was miracle when she would stop before noon. No such miracles today.

"Bella..." she said handing a guard her hundreth bag today (not exaggerating). "I think I have everything...?" she sounded like she was asking her shopping-conscience permission to stop the madness.

"Alice!" I laughed. "You said that _two hours ago_!!" she stuck her tongue out at me. "Seriously; I think we have-" I was interupted by my large gasp. I was too shocked to speak. Or even breath, really. I almost thought I was dreaming...

But I wasn't; I knew at that precise moment, that this was real. Because right in front of me, just a few feet outside the window, I saw the most beautiful green eyes, the most beautiful-unusual bronze colored hair. And the angelic face of a man who months before had only visited me in my dreams.

I saw Edward.

I nearly died from shock; My breaths became frantic. But, once I was done pinching myself just to double check I wasn't seeing things, I took in every single detail of him.

He looked just as I had remembered him. Maybe, if it was even possible- even more beautiful than that. But there was something out of place; It looked to me as though he had a new glow to him.

But his face looked lost. Sad almost, like he didn't know where to go. He looked frantically in every direction. Could he be looking for me? My heart leapt at the thought, but I knew he wasn't. He didn't even know I was here...did he?

What should I do? Should I...talk to him!? DUH!! I mentally yelled at myself. Of course I had to talk to him. It's been 8 months; 8 lonely, painful months without his arms to hold me. Without his sweet, musical voice. His smile... But I couldn't take Alice. This was the last time I would see him again and it had to be special. It had to be private.

"Actually Alice," I said changing my mind. "I think, you should buy a few more things for your baby. What's wrong with a little...spoiling?" her eyes lit up and I knew she was already eyeing something. "I'll be right back." I whispered to her. She nodded and I began my attempts to sneak out.

I was actually relatively calm; Trying to avoid the guards eyes, I was able to leave the shop unoticed. Luckily, ny clumsiness didn't overcome me. He was so close now...that's when all calmness left me.

**Edward's POV**

I followed the map exactly; It didn't even take as long as I had expected. But of course, it still wasn't anywhere near fast enough for me.

And yet, _FINALLY _I found myself in a place too famliar to me; Filled with too mand memories to count. I was back in Forks. I knew I was somewhere in the villagel, but I wasn't completely sure where exactly I was, or which way to go. I searched frantically in every direction. But just a few minutes later, saw _her._

I knew she saw me to as she attempted to scream my name.

"EDWARD!" she wasn't very loud; the yell had gotten caught in her throat. But I still heard her. I would have been able to pick out her voice, no matter how soft, no matter what.

"Bella..." I sighed in relief as she ran into my arms. And a moment, everything seemed to be just right. The universe seemed to be put back together and it seemed like these past eight months had been nothing more than a bad dream.

"Edward..." her soft voice was muffled as she buried her head into my chest. And for the first time in what seemed like forever and a day, I saw my love smile.

But one thing made me feel uneasy; No one seemed to be able to see me except Bella. They all looked at Bella as though she were insane, like she was talking to herself. It was like I wasn't even there...

Then, the answer hit me; I didn't exist in this world anymore.

**A/N: New chapter already written. Just needs to be typed. Review and I'll try and type faster!!**


	6. Trying Not To Break Your Heart

**A/N: Shall we continue? I think we shall...**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

"Bella, come with me?" Edward said as he lift my head. As if he needed to ask! I was more than willing to go wherever he wanted to take me. He led me away from the busy-crowded streets. I was happy that we were really alone now.

"Edward, it's so good to see you! I almost screamed. And I took his face in my hands and kissed him like I never did before. But, he ended it sooner than I would have liked. "I love you." I said staring deeply into his eyes.

He looked at me with heartbreak in his eyes; And his had a secret, I knew it. And I knew I wasn't going to like it. "I love you too, Bella." I had almost forgotten how amazing my name sounded when he said. How every single sentence uttered from his god-like lips became music of the sweetest kind... "_Never _forget that." he added in a suddenly serious tone.

"I won't" I promised. He didn't _need _to know that I doubted it almost every moment of every lonely day I was forced to live. It wasn't..._that _important.

"Bella- I'm..." Edward stopped. He looked like he was holding something back; Something important. "I have to tell you something. It's...very serious." he spoke seriously, his face matching his tone.

I merely nodded my head, and tried to match his seriousness. But in my mind, I could already feel my heart breaking. This is not how I pictured our meetings in my fantasies.

**Edward's POV**

Oh, I just couldn't do it. I could see it in her eyes that she was already broken enough. She had just been the happiest I'd seen her in months and I was about to ruin. I might have already ruined it already. I was about to tell her I was dead and not only that, but that no one else in this world was aware of my existance. No one but Bella. This was going to scare her, I knew it. She wouldn't be able to take it in her fragile state.

"Bella..." I began, taking her into my arms. She sighed intently, the happy glow reappearing in her eyes.

"Yes Edward?" she smiled widely. I had missed that smile so much. But...this just had to be done. And it had to be done as gently as possible.

"Bella...I'm not- I'm not really here." I said as gently as I could. But maybe i made it seem like a bad joke.

"Of course you are. If you weren't...would I be able to do...this?" she giggled. Then, she took her finger and traced my lips. I closed my eyes; It just felt too good to be true. Her soft touch...was undescrible. Her hands tangled in my messy bronze hair, as I took her face in my hands. No way in hell I could tell her now.

"No, Bella. You don't understand.." I broke away from the kiss abruptly. I think it hurt her feelings. "I'm sorry, Bella." and in an attempt to comfort her, I stroked her cheek. That helped a little.

"Edward...?" she asked, hugging my. "Is something wrong?"

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I could tell he was upset, and that was making me upset. He was going to tell me bad news, I could feel it. And I knew it was going to upset. So, trying to prepare myself, I came up with heartbreaking news with different lines he would use to tell me...

_"Bella, there's someone else. I'm sorry but I can't see you again."_

_"Bella, I can't stay any longer. This is the end"_

_"Bella, this can't work. You're locked up in your castle with Jacob...I know you sleep with him."_

Okay, maybe the last one was a little...unrealistic... But either way I would end up crying; Maybe even begging; I didn't really care about what was left of my dignity anymore.

But after I came up with all those...analogies, I felt terrible; I knew Edward would _never _dream of hurting me that way. He'd never even lied to me before. How could I think such things?! I was a terrible person, I decided. All these months with Jacob had turned me into a bitter, mean cynical person, so unworthy of Edward's love.

But there was one thing (among many in my life right now) that troubled me deeply; What in the world did he mean by _"I'm not really here..."_? What did that even suggest? if anything it suggested that maybe these eight months had made him prone to talking in riddles. I mean of course he was _here_! He wasn't...in my head, was he?

And then, after a few moments of silence and after a few moments in which my mind had been racing endlessly, he spoke.

"Bella..." he said in a pained expression. His voice held the unmistakable tone of agony to it. "I- I'm dead." he eyed me cautiously, waiting for my reaction.

The only thing was, I didn't really know _how _to react; I didn't know what to say. I just stared blankly at him. I actually thought he had lost it.

"No, you can't be." I said laughinh without humor. "You're..._here._" I gave him a puzzled looked. He was not making any sense now...

"But, that's only because...I had to tell you myself. Before Jacob could tell you more lies-" he stopped, like he had caught himself. My face must have changed.

And at the sound of Jacob's voice, I thought I had understood.

"Edward-" I gasped. "What did Jacob _do_?"

**A/N: New chapter up soon...like, later tonight.**


	7. Beside My Grave She Wept

**A/N: I told you I'd update later and I did; I think I spoil you readers...**

**Edward's POV**

I had this feeling that Bella didn't believe me. Hell, even _I _wouldn't have believed me. But still, it was frustrating! How could I prove it to her that I really was dead and that I wasn't crazy?!

I felt my eyes light up as I thought of a way. But the corners of my lips turned into a frown as I realized...this was going to break her.

But...it was the only way.

**Princess Isabella's POV**

Edward shook his head and was quiet for a while. It was really starting to worry me. What did Jacob do? My question remained unanswered.

Finally the silence was broken by his melodic tones.

"Come with me..." he sounded broken, as took my hand in his and led me away. Where to, I had no clue. We walked a few blocks, people staring at me like I had completely lost it. What were they all staring at? Like none of them had ever seen a couple on a walk before...?

Finally, we stopped. I hadn't been paying attention to my surrounding before this. I had been too absorbed in my thoughts about Edward and what I was going to tell Alice...But now, I was far too aware of where we were.

We were in the cemetery; And not just any cemetery. We were standing in the section set aside for knights and war heroes.

"Edward, you aren't dead." I pleaded with him to see reason. He couldn't really think he was dead. This had to stop now.

"Yes. I am." he said quietly. "Look..." he pointed to a grave stone. I sighed, fighting back tears. I still didn't think he was dead, but the possibilty brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't-no. wouldn't- believe he was dead.

With a shaky hand, I dusted away the cobwebs covering the grave he had pointed to so I could read the name clearly. To my dismay, it did in fact read...

_Edward Anthony Masen: Rest in Peace Forever_

"OH MY-" I whispered, but covered my mouth quickly with one hand, trying to repress the screams. I fell to the ground as my knees buckled under me. I was in hysterics and I didn't even try to hold back my sobs. I couldn't _not _cry about this. I re-read the grave over and over again, hoping that the name would read someone else's and nto Edward's.

My face in my hands, I cried for hours as Edward held me close.

"Bella-I'm sorry..." he said. It sounded like _he _was holding back tears to; My knight in shining armor, who always put up a strong appearence for me...crying.

And that's when I knew things were bad.

**Edward's POV**

I held her close as she cried her heart out; As she cried for _me._ I held back tears of my own, as she wept on my grave.

Finally, when she had stopped crying, things had gotten so quiet I thought she had fallen asleep.

"Bella?" I whispered shaking her gently.

"Edward," she said. Her voice held no signs of being asleep. "How-how did you...? And what does it have to do with...J-Jacob?" she asked. I heard her whimper as she tried to bring herself to say it.

"Shh. It's okay." I comforted her, holding her tighter. And the only sound in the cemetery was her shallow breathing. How was I going to tell her Jacob had killed me? I couldn't. I knew it would be lying, but... "I was...killed..." I couldn't tell her now. It would be too much stress and she wouldn't be able to go back to her miserable life, knowing Jacob had had me...killed. "...or rather, I _died _after Jacob, set me free." I said reluctantly. But at the time, it seemed for the best. "In a quarrel with-with..." I couldn't think of anything to tell her.

"It's okay...I don't expect you to remember the whole thing. But, how could Jacob not tell me?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"He-probably didn't want to hurt you." I had to give Jacob _some_ credit. He had tried to protect Bella to some degree, and maybe, underneath all the anger and bitterness, he really did care about her.

"I know. But...still." she buried her face into my chest again. It was quiet for some time, but she spoke again, this time in a lighter tone. "So, they just let you come down whenever you like?" she asked trying to laugh. I smiled weakly at her attempts.

"No. I'm actually breaking the rules to be with you..."

"Just like the old days..." she smiled, a little brighter this time.

"Yeah. And, I can visit more often. Just not...exessively." I assured her. She seemed glad at that and sighed in relief. And I began to wonder how much longer before I had to go...

And then, right on cue, I started to feel faded...weaker and weaker, being pulled away from my Bella. I couldn't fight it now...

"Edward?" she asked. "Are you alright?"

"I-I'm not sure." I felt a little sick. My stomach was in knots and I was getting dizzy; Something told me it was time for me to go. "Bella...I have-to go. I've been down to long..." she looked worried and scared. "But, I'll be back as soon as I can..." I assured her. "Outside your window..."

And I could feel myself fade away into nothingness. I would have to ask Carlisle about that sometime...

**Princess Isabella's POV**

Just as quickly as he had come, Edward had vanished into thin air. I felt tears run down my cheeks, becoming more persistant as I made my way to the place I was forced to call home.

I didn't aknowledge Jacob as I made my way to my _old _room, slammed the door and cried into my pillow; It felt like more normal in my sanctuary.

I knew I couldn't tell Alice; I wouldn't tell anyone, not yet anyway. I would just wait. Wait for Edward to come back...wait for my light to guide me again...

I cried myself to sleep; And that night, for the first time in eight months, I had a _happy _dream.

**A/N: REVIEW OR ELSE I WON'T WRITE!!**


	8. Life is Full of Disappointments

**A/N: Here we go!!**

**Edward's POV**

I actually had to sleep that night, I was so tired and weak. But I felt a little better once I was back in heave, where I belonged, where I was meants to be. But I still felt odd. Out of place...sickly and ill. My head felt as thought it was on the bottom of the ocean, with great pressure and force pounding against it. My stomach seemed like it was filled with water, as though I had drowned, knotting and twisting the rest of my insides.

I woke up, unable to breath, gasping for air. The pain was still there, but I was so nausiated. It was decided that I needed to see Carlisle about this.

I took deep and painful breaths as I walked to Carlisle's study. The pains seemed to worsen the longer I walked, or moved or did anything, really. It was unbearable. It was like...I couldn't do anything except lay down; But this was too important.

And I was relieved as I steped into Carlisle's study, plopped into a chair without a word. The pain was almost bearable now.

"Carlisle-" I said after catching my breath. "Sir, I have a question about this whole...earth-visit thing. I-" I couldn't speak for a while. If it was possible, it felt as though my pain had gotten stronger every minute. But Carlisle seemed to understand what I was trying to tell him, so I didn't have to speak much. And for that, I was grateful.

"I figured as much; Tell me, how long did you stay with-Bella, is it?" he asked. He sounded...like he was concerned. Like he really _did _care about me. Like...a father figure.

"Maybe...8 hours...and no one could see me, except Bella. The entire time" I said quickly as I closed my eyes. I wasn't up for talking right now; I just felt terrible and I couldn't find any energy. I didn't understand how going to earth could make me this weak; But I had to admit...maybe I was there longer than I thought. But it didn't seem longer enough a visit, what with all the crying...the grief...the kisses.

"And you didn't leave on your own, right? You were...almost _forced _or pulled." he didn't even really ask; He just stated it like a fact (a true fact).

I nodded, trying to speak a little bit. "I felt like I was fading." I sighed, trying to ignore my pain, but it was _so _hard

"It happens. When a soul is away from heaven too long or down on earth for extended periods of time...they get weak; They get pulled back. And as for no one being able to see you, that's completely normal." Carlisle shrugged. But I really didn't pay attention to the second part.

"So...the longer I stay, the weaker I-" I couldn't finish, but I was so disappointed. That was not what I wanted to hear at all.

He nodded. "My advice, is to take it easy for a few days." He stood up, putting a book away on a shelf.

"A few days?!" I gasped exasperatedly. This was not good; I couldn't leave Bella for that long. I had promised her...

"Well, maybe you won't need to. Every soul has different needs...maybe you only need a few hours." he assured me as he placed a hand on my shoulder. But I just had to leave.

"Thanks for all of your help, sir." I said as sincerly as I could. I really was grateful for everything he had done for me. Even if he had just told me something I didn't want to hear...But still. I didn't want him to think I was an ungrateful teenager.

"You're welcome." he said. I then got up to leave, steadying myself on the chair. "And if you need any help..." he continued, opening the door for me.

"Thank you, sir." I actually was able to smile a real smile or appreciation back. And for a minute, I didn't really feel the pain.

But then, as I trudged back to my room warily, I thought only of my pain, and Bella, and then pain I _caused _Bella. And how I desperately needed to get back to her. I had broken her heart enough already; Last night had hurt her too much, that was obvious. I had gone down wiht the pure intentions of making all her pain go away. But instead, I had replaced it with a new one.

A new pain, caused by the loss of the only hope she had left: the hope that I was alive. The hope that I would free her from her prison.

And the worst part was that I didn't even tell her the real reason I died; I had planned on stopping the lies Jacob had been telling her for too long. I planned on telling her (in a gentle way) that Jacob was a liar and had infact sentenced me to death and killed me right then. But could never hurt her in such a way; I would never leave her broken heart unmended, never to return.

But I knew that Carlisle was right, no matter how disappointing or unfair it seemed. I had to stay away from earth for a few days...But I would only think of Bella.

**Princess Isabella's POV  
**

I woke up much later than normal. But I refused to open my eyes. Not only because they were still sore from all my sobbing last night, but also for another reason...

I distinctively remembered falling asleep in my old room. And I had tried that once before, and regretted it; Jacob had come in the middle of the night, telling me I had to sleep in _our _room and when I refused, I was carried in against my will. And I knew that if I opened my eyes right now, I would not be pleased, knowing he had to...touch me. But eventually, I gave in.

I groaned to myself as I prepared for the anger and the pain. I opened my eyes...

I gasped in shock. I was surprisingly still in the comfort of my _own _room. Probably thanks to Alice. I began thinking if Alice would be at the doctors again, if I would be alone. But then...the memories of last night just hit me

Edward...his grave...he's dead...an angel disappearing. And he promised he would be back.

But what would I tell Alice? I had to get my story straight...and I couldn't tell her. She'd think I was crazy...but I knew he wasn't just my imagination. No way I made that up; I wasn't creative...

I was still trying to make up my lies, but she came in!

"Bella?" she asked. "Are you okay? What happened? Where were you?" I could tell that I had really worried her. And I felt terrible.

"I just...got lost." That was all I could come up with. She looked at me in disbelief. "No, really. I just...got lost in the crowd and I couldn't find my way back."

"But...you were crying horribly when you came back." she asked concerned; Unsure of my answer.

"Yes. Because...I freaked out a little bit. When it got too dark." I was so bad at lying. I didn't even buy it myself...but Alice...

"Okay. I understand. I'm just glad you're okay." she weakly smiled and hugged me.

"I am. I'm fine." I said. And I wasn't lying. I was okay, because I knew that EDWARD WOULD COME TODAY! And I wasn't ready?!

"Bella, I'm going to go down to the doctors today." My eyes grew wide.

"Is something-" I began worriedly.

"Everything is fine. Just...they might be...twins." she said. I gasped.

"ALICE!! I am so happy for you! Twins?! We may actually have to go shopping again..." **(A/N: Ha! Twins...) **I added in humor.

Alice looked so happy and excited; And I could only match that excitement. "I know! I've decided on names and everything..." she was bouncing now; It was so adorable.

"Really? Gimme the options..." I prompted.

"Right now...I really like Marcus and Elizabeth or maybe...Adam and Aurora. I have to narrow it down soon though..." she said grinning.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Bella...it's almost time!" I gaped at her.

"Are you serious?? It's been a month??" I must have been numb for longer than I realized. She just nodded.

"Yes. In 2 weeks...or less..."

"Alice...we'll go shopping. Again. Tomorrow. Just you and me. Bright and early." It would have to be early; I needed a whole night to spend with Edward...EDWARD!!

"Okay." she said. "But i have to leave now...but I'll see you later." she got up to leave, waving animatedly as she left.

I waved back, waiting until she was down the hall. Then I screamed and danced to myself in my room; This was the greastest moment of my life! Alice was having twins...Edward would be waiting for me outside my window...

THE WINDOW! I stopped my dancing and ran to the window.

But...he wasn't there.

**A/N: Long enough for you?! I thought so. Now review and I'll start the next chapter right now!!**


	9. Seeking Out My Angel

**A/N: See! I told you...**

**Btw, part of this chapter you already read; I decided to combine the chapter together so...**

**A/N: Sorry about da delay; I was lazy... ... ...**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I couldn't believe my own eyes. I blinked furiously, hoping that maybe something was wrong with them, or maybe he'd be there...but he still wasn't anywhere...

Had I really just imagined all of it? No...no, I was sure I hadn't. That was impossible; It all seemed too real to just be a dream. I knew he had promised me that he'd be at my window. Didn't he at least owe me that much?

No...no, I take it back. He didn't owe me anything. It was good of him to even visit me in my time of need. I just wish he'd would have came a day later; Because today, it seemed like I needed him more.

**Edward's POV**

Before I went to my room (though I knew that I was _supposed _to be resting) I couldn't help just checking on Bella; Just to see how she was doing. I wouldn't be a good husband if I didn't...

But I soon regretted it; To see her, even worse off than before I had visited, broke my heart The guilt I felt overpowered even the greatest of pains. And I wanted now, more than ever, to reach out to her. To hold her and to explain everything...But I knew I could not.

"Bella...I'm sorry." I whispered. I hoped that my soft words could somehow be carried to her...

But alas, she could not hear them; I trudged back to my room...I would have to get as much rest as possible. Maybe that way, I would recover faster and get to Bella that much sooner.

So, I laid on my bed and, hoping that when I woke up I'd be stronger, drifted away into a deep sleep.

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I didn't know what to do exactly. I really had just planned on...spending it with...Edward. But, seeing as that was now impossible, I had to do something to keep my mind off the heartbreak and agony. But...I still _wanted _to think about Edward and I still _needed _to be near him _some_ way. But...would I be able to handle it _again?_

I decided that I at least had to try.

**Edward's POV**

I slept for only an hour or two; I wasn't relacing as much as I should have, but I just could _not _think about her.

But on the brightside, I did feel a little better. My head no longer throbbed and I could breath with any pain. Maybe a little longer and I could be back to Bella by tonight. But in the mean time, I decided I could check on her. I could resist the urge to visit her...right? I thought I could handle it. So I left my room and went to go find my Bella.

I went where I always went when I watched her; It looked directly over her bedroom, and it made me feel more connected to her.

But, when I looked over the edge of the cloud, she wasn't there.

**Edward's POV**

Where the hell was she? Where could she have possibly gone? My mind was throbbing again, but not because of how weak I was. There wasn't a lot of places she could go; So where was she?

I rushed around, looking over the entire castle. Nothing! I was worried out of my mind; I couldn't help but (guiltily) think that Bella had become so depressed...that she might have even...killed herself.

"NO!" I yelled to myself out loud. How could I have even let that thought cross my mind?! Of course Bella would never do that. She knew I love her...didn't she?

But...I still couldn't find her.

**Princess Isabella's POV  
**

I went to my closet, grabbing my darkest colored cloak, perfect for sneaking out. I knew that if I told Jacob that I was leaving, I'd have to get through millions of guards. I needed to be alone now more than ever.

So I draped the cloak over my arm and tip-toed out my room. I tried not to looked suspicious as I made my way out the door; If I drawed attention to myself, the guards would tell Jacob that I was walking around without an escort, which he had forbidden months ago. I had to avoid the guards at all cost.

I was almost to the door; I was outside, close to the meadow...our meadow. I choked back tears as I came closer, looking straight ahead. But then, out of nowhere, I guard rounded the corner and walked to a maid, across the grounds where I stood, on the other side.. He wasn't looking at me, but I knew he would see me soon enough, though he was far away. It had happened before.

I turned my back to him, staring at the floor. But I heard foot steps close behind me. And acting on pure instinct alone, I hid away...in the meadow.

But I was right; The guard had been close, but had not seen my face. I had hoped he would have left, but of course he came inside. I wasn't even thinking about the pain I was in now being in a place filled with so many painful memories. I just worried about not getting caught; I knew where I needed to be right now, and I could get caught.

I ducked behing the line of bushes by the pond in the very back and held my hand to my mouth so he couldn't here my breath. After a moment or two I peeked up from my hiding spot, checking if he was still there.

He was gone.

I could have sighed in relief, but I couldn't make a sound. I crawled over to the door, wrapping my cloak around me now, and peeked out the door. Nothing, and no one was there.

I swallowed hard, then pulled my hood up so that it hid my face; I needed to get out now. I was slowly beginning to feel a pain in my heartm no doubt caused by coming to the realization that Edward and I had spent all of our time her...together.

I shook my head furiously, hoping that the tears would vanish, and ran out the meadow as fast as I could. The gate (luckily) was being opened. All I needed to do was sneak out. My back was against the gate wall as I edged closer to the opening.

I was so close...I just needed to bring my legs to walk...but they wouldn't budge.

And it wasn't until the gates were almost closed that I finally threw myself out of the opening, before it finally receeded into nothing.

I was out. I had actually escaped; It worked. I could hardly believe it, and I was so happy that I smiled involuntarily. But I caught myself, wiping it away by reminding myself that I had no reason to be happy. Especially since I was about to do something so painful...

**Edward's POV**

For an hour or so, I sat in my room, brooding and sulking about Bella. I still was unable to find her. Where was she and was she okay? I was still so unsure...

But then, I heard something and I felt something, strong and forceful. And I wasn't sure...but I thought I heard Bella...crying. I got up instinctively, trying to find our where it was coming from. She wasn't in heaven, that much I knew. Her voice was too far away.

I followed the voice, the same unknown force acting upon me. It was like, I knew Bella was calling me, like I could feel it in my soul.

And that's when I found her.

**Princess Isabella's POV**

In about an hour I had found where I was headed. I wasn't quite sure if I would be able to find my way back, but that didn't matter right now. All that mattered that I was here, ready to do whatever I had to do.

The pain would be great, but I knew it would be worth it, if only for one moment.

**A/N: Okay, I've decided to have a little contest here. And I'm not gonna write the next chapter unless someone guesses so...GUESS!**

**I'm asking all of you to guess where Bella is, and what she is doing. The faster you guess, the faster I update!! This may annoy the hell out of you...but I don't want to tell you what she's doing **_**just **_**yet. So tell me in a review or pm!**


	10. My Eternal Depart

**A/N: I am updating b/c a certain person (ADIDASGRL328) was bugging me about it for the entire week!! I hate you Jordi B...**

**LOL; Enjoy the chapter and review.**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I was here; I was _so _close now...my heart sped up, beating so loud that if anyone were her with me, they surely would have heard it. I sighed, remembering, or rather becoming aware of the fact, that I was alone. The fact that Edward wasn't there holding me like before; He wasn't there, leading the way...and it made me feel unsafe. But I didn't plan on being away from Edward for long...

On top of my already overpowering misery, it was also freezing cold in the graveyard. I already felt numb all over...but there were other pains, far worse than that. There was that anxious pain in my heart, making my heart beat even louder the closer I got to Edward's grave; That feeling that I couldn't shake, that feeling of waiting for the pain that would indefinately come soon. And the only thing that made these pains somewhat bareable, was the comforting thought that my pain would soon be over. But still...a heavy burden of guilt weighed upon my shoulders. And this is the pain that I felt the most, deep inside my soul, eating me alive...

But it had to be done, right? Some part of me said yes, while the other was unsure. But still, at the time, I wanted to believe that there were no other options. I wanted to believe that I wouldn't be missed...I wanted to die. I tightened my cloak around me as I shivered in fear of myself. A few tears rolled down my cheeks as I took a deep breath, telling myself over and over that I _was _ready. I could do this...

I actually got a little excited; Maybe he would be there waiting for me and he would hold me and everything could be just like it was before...or not.

Even though I knew that that would be impossible, I still got my heart crushed by disappointment as I walked closer to the grave. My breaths grew shallow as I stuggled to keep myself standing, willing my knees to keep it up just a little longer, but of course they failed me once again. My knees buckled under me, just like yesterday, only now the fall down seemed to hurt twice as much. I cried again not even bothering to look at the name; I knew it would only bring me more pain. I cried a little less, but somehow it seemed to hurt more...without Edward there to hold me.

But somehow I managed to stop crying on my own. There was no point in in now. This would all be over soon enough.

**Edward's POV**

As I let the voice carry me where it would, I realized exactly where I was headed; Why was she going there any way? It was just making her miserable...making her cry harder. And the closer I came, the louder her cry became, each sob further breaking my heart. I broke out into a run, but it still wasn't fast enough.

But eventually I _did _get there and I was standing over her, watching her from a far and wishing I could be there to hold and comfort her. She looked so alone, so miserable and so helpless...in so much pain. She was much to beautiful to cry like that; She deserved so much more and yet I continued to cause her so much pain and misery.

I was so absorbed in my _own _personal grief and guilt, I hadn't even noticed when Bella stopped crying.

"Bella?" I asked out loud even though I knew she couldn't hear me not matter how loud I called. "Are better now?" I whispered softly in a pained voice. But I just couldn't-wouldn't- stand and watch Bella cry like that. I _prayed_ that she would be okay. Bui I knew that it was almost impossible.

I obviously wasn't expecting an answer, but I certainly wasn't expecting _this_ either...

**Priness Isabella's POV**

I was done crying. For now and hopefully for eternity. I wiped my face and after a few sniffles, breathed in the cold air. The sun was just about setting now; And it was only then that I realized how long I really was gone. But that didn't matter now. Because by tomorrow...I wouldn't be here.

It was very to clear to me what I had to do. Maybe I had known it would end like this all along, but I was too afraid to actually do it. As soon as I was certain I could walk and carry myself, I stood up and stared directly ahead.

But the more I thought about what I was about to do and how much it would hurt...the more I realized that I would never be able to do it. It seemed so selfish and I wasn''t a selfish person, was I? But...maybe I was selfish _enough _to take my own life...?

But I just _couldn't _stand to live this thing they called "life" anymore. It was already miserable when I thought Edward was dead and never coming back, but it seemed like today, after that huge disappointment, that my misery had grown and was too heavy for me to handle. And now, there was that temptation of being so close to Edward. Because now, I feared nothing except maybe the pain I knew wouldn't last and now I knew that Edward would be there waiting for me and ready and willing to spend the rest of eternity with me.

It was settled; I would forever leave this place. Eternally and forever...

**A/N: HA! Cliffhanger! Review or else you won't get da next chapter that is already written and on my computer!!**


	11. Dying from Within

**A/N: While I am working on the whole-Bella depression bit, I've decided to give you some Alice-in sight on the past 8 months. Mainly because she hasn't bee in the story alot and because the Depressed Bella thing is taking a long time b/c it is very hard to write!! So here's some alice- in sight.**

**Alice's POV (from when Bella comes in after learning Edward is dead: chapters 5- 8/9)**

_"Actually Alice," she said "I think, you should buy a few more things for your baby. What's wrong with a little...spoiling?" I was grateful that she finally understood the importance of my baby's indulgence. I smiled, already knowing what else I needed. "I'll be right back..." she said. (chapter 5)_

I stayed in the shop for a while after Bella left to get some fresh air. I wasn't worried at all...until I realized how late it was getting. I couldn't find her anywhere outside and I felt terrible that I didn't pay attention to her. Some best friend I was...

But then again, it had been this way for a few months now; Ever since...I was forced to lie to her about Edward. Our friendship had become a little strained, and as the months went by, I began to get weary. Bella tried to be happy when she was with me, I could see right through that; I knew her too well. And I knew her well enough to know that she was keeping secrets and pain from me... I wondered if she knew I was lying...If she didn't trust me.

But she didn't talk about and neither did I; It would just result in another night of fruitless crying. Plus, I couldn't say truthfully that I didn't keep things from her. Aside from Edward's Execution, I too kept my pain hidden deep inside. I didn't want to upset Bella by crying but sometimes (all the time), when I was alone...I would take the time to let my mind drift to my fading memories of Jasper...

Some of them made me laugh or smile...but most of them just ended in my tears. And if I was stressed out like I was now, it would turn into silent sobs, as far away from Bella as possible so she couldn't hear or find me if she left her room (though she seldom did).

When I started getting my pregnant belly (mommy-tummy), I think that's when it actually hit me; That's when I really realized that I was actually preganant with Jasper's son or daughter and that he would never be able to see them...or help me to raise them. I often wondered if I would be able to care for my baby- our baby- properly. It seemed impossible, but I told myself over and over again that I had to try. And when I was told it might be twins, both my fears and determination were doubled. I hadn't told her just yet...but I would tell her soon...

I searched for hours, it seemed but I was unable to find her. I was escorted by the guards back to the castle; I kept my eyes on the floor the whole time, telling myself Bella was okay, though that was unlikely. But I tried not to think of what might have happened to her...or what she might have done to herself. She had become more and more depressed over the months...

As soon as I made my way to my room, I sped up, breathing heavily most likely from the sobs and crying and tears I was forcing back. But I reminded myself what the doctor told me every visit: That keeping all these emotions inside weren't good for the baby. But that wouldn't be good for Bella either...I wanted to be strong.

The compromise I'd made with myself worked though; I cried when I was alone. I slammed the door, locked it tight and once I was on my bed, I allowed myself to cry. I cried harder than any other night. I had so much more to cry over...

**A/N: Now we are back to the present. I'll do more of Alice's flash back in the next few chapters, so don't be confused if I do this again. It you find this silly and confusing, tell me and I'll jsu edit the story so Alice's POVs will be earlier in the story. It will start when Bella came back after that first visit from Edward. I'll try to incorporate Alice a little more. Any way... Here's what happened last time...**

_But I just couldn't stand to live this thing they called "life" anymore. It was already miserable when I thought Edward was dead and never coming back, but it seemed like today, after that huge disappointment, that my misery had grown and was too heavy for me to handle. And now, there was that temptation of being so close to Edward. Because now, I feared nothing except maybe the pain I knew wouldn't last and now I knew that Edward would be there waiting for me and ready and willing to spend the rest of eternity with me._

_It was settled; I would forever leave this place. Eternally and forever..._

**Princess Isabella's POV**

With a shakey hand, I reached for _something _and anything that might help me with my self assigned task; A sharp rock, perhaps. I didn't really care, so long as it would end my life...solve my problems. But it felt like I was already dead; Like my body moved on it's own doing what I myself would have been too afraid to do to myself. But...wasn't it still me? I was actually afraid of myself as I saw my hand grab hold of a sharp rock. I didn'y feel sure about this anymore. My heart sped up at a remarkable speed, my eyes grew wide with terror.

But...I knew that there must be _some _part of me that wanted to do this and was allowing my body to do so and that is what scared me the most; The fact that I _wanted _to cause myself pain and I thought it would be worth it. And even it was...my body's movements _still _seemed foreign to me. But I thought about Edward, waiting for me and the pearly gates, escorting me inside and ready to spend forever together. I missed him and I knew he must have missed me. Edward wanted this to...

I continued to convince myself about this and I actually suceeded. And the rest of my body's movements now became all my own. I moved the rock between my hands, hoping it was sharp enough. It looked like it could pierce my skin skin deep enough...

But another part of my body seized control again, or so it seemed. I don't know why but I suddenly felt _so _depressed...I just wanted to cause more pain to myself...

I held the rock to my opposite wrists, applying more pressure with each second. It pierced my flesh, more painful than I ever thought it would be. But it...almost felt...good. I felt so ashamed afterwards, as I ripped my skin further.

I screamed, though the cut was not as deep as it felt. But the pain was sharp and blood flowed from the wound, making me feel dizzy and sick. It all seemed to be happening in a rush...fast and excruciating. Now I only wanted this to be over sooner.

**Edward's POV (Before Bella's 'Accident') **

I watched my Bella, thinking, or rather _praying _that she wouldn't do anything stupid or hold my absense against me in anyway; If she ended up hurting herself in anyway...I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I hoped she could just _try _and understand and just try to realize why I can't be there now...

When she finally stopped crying, I sighed in relief; Tomorrow, I would go to her and explain wh I couldn't be with her today. Everything would have been fine...but she didn't leave.

"Bella?" I asked; I was afraid for her. I didn't have a clue what she was doing as she picked up a rock...pressed it to her soft and gentle skin...

I didn't believe what she had really done; I thought I imagined it, but the screams which came from her lungs and filled the night were too real for me to have thought up. I screamed her name as I ran down to help her. I had a guess of what she would do next...and I hoped to god that I was wrong.

**A/N: I'm typing write now, don't get you undies in a bunch!!**


	12. Hopelessly Devoted to You

**A/N: Don't forget to review and voice your opinions!!**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I gasped and took deep breaths once my screaming had died down a bit and the pain was less than excrutiating. And I struggled to stay conscious, fighting the nausea caused by the smell of blood as it filled my nose. Blood; _My _blood. This pain- _my_ pain, caused by no one but myself. I felt sick; My stomach churned as I laid out on the hard dirt ground, trying to make the pain all go away. The numbness I had felt previously had completely evaporated by now and had been replaced with terrible stabbing pain in my wrists. The nausea stayed with me though, and waryness, exahaustion followed. I much rather prefered the numbness.

But even so, I felt some comfort in knowing that all my pain and suffering would soon be put to an end and that a better existance awaited me...an eternity with Edward.

I decided now was as good a time as ever. I lifted hand, reaching for the same rock. I knew for certain that if I put enough effort into tjis, I would be dead soon enough. But even if I was dead, I had a feeling that I would feel more alive than I had in months. Eight long, painful and empty months. But, then it hit me...what about Alice? I dropped my hand, as a wave of guilt ran through me, stronger than before. These eight months had been made bearable by Alice. And...though I didn't feel like anyone would miss me, I knew Alice would. And just maybe, I made her life a little more bearable too...

And now, unlike before, I really thought about someone other myself and my misery. I thought about Alice and her TWINS. And I thought about all that Jasper and Alice had done for me and Edward. Jasper...Edward's best friend, Alice's boyfriend. Gone. I knew that if I was pregnant, Edward would want Alice to help me...Jasper would want me ot help her. And Edward would never wish me dead, even if it meant being together...maybe he wouldn't want me that way. Japser was already gone, I couldn't take another friend from Alice like that...I wouldn't. I dropped my hand to floor and threw the rock as far as I allowed myself.

It was then that I realized that I was even more terrified than I thought. My hands shook violently, from fear, not cold. Though the cold air bit at my wounded wrist, burning it, adding to the pain. It was darker now, but I thought I could probably still find my way back if I tried...but I couldn't even move. It took all I had just to sit there and breath. I certainly wouldn't be able to go anywhere now.

And then, the feeling that I could do something and end my own misery just left. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything except lay there in the bitter cold, maybe try to shield my wrist from the cold. I cried. But this time, I cried out to someone. I SCREAMED so someone would come. Anyone. Maybe even...Edward.

**Edward's POV**

I ran- almost flew- not even paying attention or stopping to check on Bella or see what she was doing; I _knew _exactly what she would be doing. I didn't want to see that...not if I couldn't stop it. I was just about there...almost.

But someone's screams stopped me dead (no pun intended!!) in my tracks. _My Bella's _screams echoed in my mind...the only thing I heard.

"NO! BELLA..." I screamed back. I was too late, I knew it. I wasn't fast enough...this was my fault. I felt...angry...strange for me...

But not at Bella. No, never at my Bella. I was angry at myself; I was FURIOUS at myself for letting this happen. For not being able to make it on time. For waiting so long; I should have gone down to her the second I realized she was at my grave, crying her heart out to me. The moment I saw her pick up that rock...I should have known.

Though I knew she was gone, I still had to see her. Maybe I could still save her. If not...at least take her body to Alice...someone who cared about her. ALICE! What would Alice do now without Bella...without Jasper...with her baby, all alone...?

I ran down to Bella, quickly not wanting to think about all of that right now. And then I saw her. She lay out on the ground, her face away from me; She was covered in a blood stained cloak. 'Funny...' i thought. 'there should be more blood...'. But that didn't matter now. She looked dead from where I was standing...so lifeless and dead. But...shouldn't she be here with me now? Shouldn't her spirit-soul, whatever- have been her by now. Unless...

UNLESS SHE WAS IN HELL!!

No...she couldn't. Bella was too innoccent...to loving to be in...hell. I couldn't believe it. Something must have been wrong. I knealt down to her, brushing her hair out of her face. I gasped. Her cheeks were colored; I felt her non-wounded wrist. She still had a pulse...she was alive!!

"Bella!" I whispered relieved.

"E-Edward...?" she turned towards me, her eyes red and puffy from all of her crying. She reached out to hold my hand. I put mine in hers willingly.

"I'm right here Bella. I won't leave you..."

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I felt someone move my hair; I didn't even bother moving at first. They then moved to my wrist, checking my pulse. This touch was so familiar to me...so comforting.

"Bella!" the musical voice of my Edward came to me. Through the pain, I struggled to turn towards him.

"E-Edward...?" I asked unbelievingly. This couldn't be real; I needed proof that he was really here with me. Right now. I reached for his hand.

He smiled warmly at me, looking relieved. "I'm right here Bella. I won't leave you..." she said. I sighed, but it sounded like a cry. To hear him say those words to me...to hear the sincerity in his voice and to see it in his eyes...that was the greates thing in the world.

"I missed you...so much." I bit my lip, trying not to break out in tears.

"I'm sorry. I'll explain...I swear. Forgive me...?" he asked cautiously. I nodded and he sighed in relief. "Now come on, I'll get you home."

I tried to get up; It was easier than I expected. Maybe I was just so emotionally unstable that I was too overwhelmed to stand. Really it was just my wrist that hurt. Edward held it tenderly. But a looked of hurt, betrayl...and anger crossed over his face. He glared down at something I couldn't see.

"Edward what-?" I stopped. It became clear what he was angry about; He knew what I had done and what I had planned on doing. "I'm sorry-"

But he interrupted me. "You can explain later too."

**A/N: PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF EDWARD REVIEW!! BECAUSE I'M NOT UPDATING UNTIL I GET 15-20 REVIEWS!! I MEAN IT!!**


	13. Confusion

**A/N: YEAH!! New computer in the house, which means more updates and less computer problems and such. ARE YOU ALL NOT FILLED WITH JOY?! LOL**

**As always, I own nothing except these words which I type. And review!!**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I knew I would have to explain all of this sooner or later. I just wished it would come...much later. But Edward had a right to know what was wrong with me; I'm sure he blamed himself as always, but maybe I could convince him that I'm just...mentally unstable? Yeah...that'll work _great_

"Can you walk? Do you want me to-" I shook my head. I could walk on my own. My legs were fine, it was just the rest of my body that ached.

"I'm fine." He nodded and I took a good look at him. His face was hard and serious and his eyes bled with anger. I winced at that thought. Was he angry at me? Well, he certainly had a right to be. I didn't deserve him anymore...

But I still needed him. I needed to hear his voice, to feel his touch and to have him near me. I needed him so badly, it was almost unhealthy and I knew it. But I just loved him so much, I knew it would hurt to actually let him go. Because the pain I knew it would cause me if he left far outweighed the guilt of keeping here with me. Even if he wanted to go. I was just too selfish...he was perfect. He would always do what was best for eveyone, even if it hurt him. Not only was he caring, he was gorgeous; Perfect eyes, perfect smile...

My insides twisted uncomfortably as I realized...someone so perfect was too good for me; Someone...so, so flawed.

**Edward's POV**

Bella and I walked in silence; She in her own thoughts and I in my own. I watched her from time to time, as she hung her head and slumped her shoulders. I could tell just by looking at her exactly how she felt; She probably felt guilty and ashamed. She was probably blaming herself for everything that had happened. But it was not her fault...

It was _mine._ All of this was my fault. I was the one who had left her and I was the one who had hurt and I was the one who had drove her to such extremes. Bella could not be blamed for this; She was too innocent, sweet...it even made me think that I didn't even deserve her love anymore. She didn't deserve to be treated like this or be disappointed like today...maybe it would be best if I just...vanished.

But I knew that would never work; It didn't work this time, and I didn't even mean to leave her. It just happened. And in the end, it would hurt me far more than it would hurt her...I wanted to stay. And...I could tell that Bella needed me too.

The anger that I tried to hide from her, the anger that showed on my face, was not for her. The anger that I knew she thought was caused by her, was anger at myself. I wish I could tell her that, but right now...I was too emotional. My words would come out harsh if I didn't watch them, and she had been hurt enought today. Right now, I just needed some space.

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I could tell he was angry; His face was hard and emotionless, and his eyes stared straight ahead. I didn't like it when he was this way, but I always understood why he when he was angry. Right now, he needed his space. We would talk when he was ready and I couldn't push him. He always came around...when I did something bad. But today, I wasn't bad, I was evil to him. I was terrible. Maybe today, he wouldn't forgive me and he would leave me for good...all alone. But maybe, just maybe, that would be best for him.

I wiped a tear off my face and took a deep shaky breath. Edward reached for my hand, which I willingly gave him.

"Come on," he said. But he didn't look at me. I blinked back my tears and bit my lip as I looked up; We were back at the castle now and I just realized how late it really was. The whole castle was dark and frightening, lit only by the moonlight. He led me inside, quietly. It was so silent, that it hurt my ears. Only my breathing echoed against the stone surroundings. I was so absorbed into my thoughts and everything around me to keep my mind off of Edward, that I couldn't help but think about him.

I knew what he would do, even if he didn't. He would take me to my room, and explain to me that he had to leave me forever. I wouldn't try to tell him not to, now. It made sense that he would want to leave me after this. Why wouldn't he? He was, literally, a fallen angel. I don't even think he was supposed to be down here now. He might tell me that it's not my fault and that he just can't risk getting caught, but I'll know the real reason.

But, he wasn't leading me to my room. But where we were, it was too dark to tell where exactly he was headed. I opened my mouth to ask where we were going, but the sound got lost in my throat, as though my mind couldn't make a connection to my mouth. A few moments afterwards, he let go of my hand. I got lost in the darkness, and panicked. Okay, I was wrong; He'd leave me all alone in complete darkness and just leave...forever. But I couldn't let him go...not now. I still needed him...

"Edward!" I cried. But no one answered. My hands searched around, looking for anything to get a grip onto. I found something right away. It felt like...Edward? My hand went up what must have been his chest; He felt more muscular than I remembered...But that didn't matter now. Before he left me, I just needed one thing to remember him by...just. One. Kiss.

I found his face, pulled him towards me, and brought my lips to his. He was shocked at first, trying to pull me away, but I pulled him back and this time, he kissed me and his hands tangled through me hair; But...it didn't feel like Edward. These kisses were not Edward's kisses and these hands..were not his hands. And these lips...were not his lips. I pulled back, startled to death, breathing heavily and wiping my mouth. WHERE WAS EDWARD? WHO THE HELL WAS THIS?

Someone grabbed me from behind...I gasped, trying to pull away. But this was the touch I recognized... this was edward.

"Bella..." he whispered.

"E-Edward?" I was so confused!! Who had I kissed, if Edward was there...?

**A/N: REVIEW OR ELSE NO NEW CHAPPIE!!**


	14. Refusing to Believe:While I Repent

**A/N: Here's da chapter...**

**Edward's POV**

The castle was in utter darkness. I held Bella's hand as I led her inside. I could tell she was upset, even though I could barely see her. I could her her shudder or whimper occassionally, and it broke my heart. She thought I was mad at her still. I wanted to tell her otherwise; I wanted to explain everything. And I knew the perfect place to do that. But unfortuanately I was having a lot of trouble finding my way.

I felt for the wall, trying to find familiar patterns or feel something to tell me where I was. But in order to do that, I had to let go off Bella's hand. I didn't want to, but I did. It was such an idiotic thing to do! So foolish! I should have known; She immediately started panicking, trying to find me. I attempted to comfort her by finding her and trying to hold her. But I couldn't find her! But I saw a light; A candle in the distance. My heart sped up, nervously. Bella would be caught. Taken away from me. She'd think I'd left her again and I couldn't let that happen.

But who the hell was holding the candle? I didn't know yet. But who ever it was dropped the light source as someone grabbed them. Was that Bella? I wasn't even sure! I got so confused...

The candle rolled toward me; It was fading. But there was enough light for me. I picked it up, without even thinking, and held it up to the two mystery people. I was shocked; One of them I was sure was Bella. And she was...kissing _him_. She was kissing. King. Jacob.

I became even more confused. But I was sure there was a good explaination for this. Or maybe not. He was her...husband... after all. Maybe she was doing it to get back at me, I didn't know at the time. But...though I hated to admit it, she had every right to do anything she wanted.

But right then, to shocked to move I just stood there, dumbly. Unable to move. The kiss didn't last long I guess, but it seemed to drag on forever. But Bella broke away from Jake's lips, almost as shocked as me. I was at her side in an instant, and I whispered her name in her ear softly; I didn't want her to think I had left her. Even if she didn't want me anymore, she had to know I still cared. At least enough to stay with her.

Bella's voice was shaky and unsure; She sounded confused. But her reaction didn't make sense. "E-Edward?" she whispered back, sounding amazed. It didn't sound like she knew what had happened either.

What. The. Hell?

**King Jacob's POV**

I hadn't seen Bella all day. Not that I ever really talked to her, but I noticed her in the halls. Avoiding me. The day before, Alice had come to me, very upset after shopping with Bella. I was surprised she was even talking to me. I knew that she would only ever put up with me if something was wrong. I was right.

Bella had gone missing, and Alice couldn't find her anywhere. I was furious with Alice, asking her why the hell she'd leave Bella alone for a second. Really, it was stupid! We both knew that Bella...hadn't been right and ok since ...I killed Edward. And she married me. I knew Alice blamed me for everything bad in the world, and maybe I _was _a little responsible... kinda.

Anyway, Bella came back late last night and went straight to bed, in her old room. I did not object; She looked tired, upset. I decided it would be best to leave her alone with Alice. But...when she woke up later today, Alice left for a doctor's appointment and Bella had gone missing. AGAIN!!

We gave a looking at about midnight; We'd hoped and prayed she would come back on her own. I hoped no harm had come to her...but I couldn't be sure.

I slept for maybe an hour; But it wasn't comfortably. I was tossing and turning when I just couldn't take it anymore. I woke up, with a strange feeling I couldn't shake; I was scared but not really...maybe, anxious. Yes, anxious and worried about Bella. I turned on the light, slipped on my robe and walked toward Bella's old room. I was hoping I would find her in there, sleeping soundly, so my worries could disappear, like they had the night before. I wanted so badly to believe that Bella was okay and that she hadn;t done anything stupid or reckless, because deep down, I knew that it would be all my fault.

I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to Bella tonight. Because I knew that it was my deeds, my actions and my plots and selfishness are what drove Bella to what she is today. I and I alone had made Bella a gloomy, moody, depressed girl, married to someone...she hated, against her will and waiting; believing in false hope that her true love was still alive...I did this to her. Though I knew I deserved it, the fact that Bella hated me hurt. I was furious at myself for letting our relationship get so strained. I shouldn't have killed Edward, no matter how much I hated him and when I killed him anyway, I should have told Bella. I had a strong feeling that the reason Bella went missing yesterday and today was because she was trying to find Edward. But she didn't know he was dead.

My heart sped up as I opened the door to her old room, slowly and with my eyes closed. I counted to three slowly before opening them. I didn't hear any breathing...my heart sank.

I opened my eyes quickly, just to get it over with. It was dark in her room, but still, even in the dark I would be able to see if Bella had come home. Still, I turned on the light to make sure; I was in denial. Surely Bella was here somewhere! But...there was no one.

Distressed and guilty I thought about the possibilities. Each one I thought about became worse and worse...but the absolute most horrid possible explaination for Bella's disappearance...was her death.

But I couldn't believe that; I didn't want to believe that, but still, it seemed...likely. I had been noticing Bella's change in personality. She was even more depressed and morbid...even Alice was worried. What if Bella had left to find Edward? What if, when she asked someone, they had told her the awful truth; That he was dead and that I had killed him...what if she couldn't handle the loss... what if she had killed herself?

I was trying so hard not to cry; I hadn;t cried since I had been crowned king. Kings weren't supposed to cry, they were not allowed. But all these lonely, painful months watching Bella die inside had taken a toll on me. But for eight months, I had been bottling it all up. But this time, I couldn't.

And for the first time in months, I cried.

**A/N: I wanted you all to see a kinder, softer side of Jacob, even though he can be suckish. Because really, you can not deny the fact that he loves and cares about Bella. Any whoo, review!! I'm writing the chapter as. You. Read. This!!**


	15. You are to Blame

**A/N: Hey!! Sorry about the delay; I have been very busy with my newest fanfic, "My Heart Holds Me Back". Check it out!! Anywho, i'm here now, and that's what matters...**

**BTW: Remember, Bella still thinks that Edward died in an accident after Jacob set him free; She doesn't know what really happened. She's just angery that Jake didn't tell her about Edward's 'accident'**

**King Jacob's POV**

When I had finished my...little episode, I sat down on the edge of the bed, looking out the window. The moon was the only thing that illuminated the castle grounds. Not much, but just enought so that I could see a dark figure coming towards the castle. Suddenly, my spirits lifted and I felt lighter; Almost happy. My guilt suddenly evaporated, and I no longer blamed myself for the terrible things I thought had happened. None of them were true. Bella was here, alive and (hopefully) well.

I quickly grabbed a lit candle, and rushed downstairs, not even caring whether she was mad a me or not; I forgot that we hadn't been talking for months. I was just so happy she was alive.

I made it down quickly, and I found her in an instant. But she looked scared, and lost; Her eyes were red, like she'd been crying.

"Edward!" She called his name over and over; It shocked me. It brought back that guilty feeling. Because she thought he was still alive. And worse, she thought he was with her...

I walked towards her, and put my hand on her shoulder. I tried to call her name, but before I could, she pushed her lips against mine, and kissed me. It was powerful, strong; I dropped the candle in shock and it rolled down the floor. When I tried to pull myself away, she tightened her grip and held me closer. I felt terrible; I knew she didn't mean to kiss me. She would never do this. But still...I took advantage of it. I kissed her right back...

It felt wrong...but still, I enjoyed it. It was as though I had never lied, and Bella and I were happily married. But...it ended too quickly.

She stopped suddenly; Pushing away from me. I thought she had finally lost it, when after a moment of silence she said "E-Edward?"

Did she really think I was Edward? I had to tell her the truth; This had to end...but, was I strong enough to break her further? When I glanced over at her, someone was holding the candle I dropped. But who?

**Bella's POV**

My heart and head were racing. Who had I just kissed? I looked at Edward for guidance, he held up a candle, and put it in my hand.

"Don't leave me!" I cried; Edward nodded. He looked as confused as me. He looked like he wanted to tell me something...

"I won't leave you Bella." he said faintly;

"Edward, I'm confused..." I cautiously took the candle, and turned around, towards the person I had kissed. I screamed once I saw _his_ face.

King. Jacob.

"Bella...there's no one here. Edward...isn't here." Jacob chose his words carefully, like I was a child. And what did her mean, no one was here? Was I the only one who could see him...?

"What are you talking about? He's..." I began, but Edward shook his head.

"No one can see or hear..." I nodded silently; I guess that made sense...he _was my_ husband. Why would anyone else notice him? But then again, who knew people could come back to life?

"Sorry, Jacob." I said just below a whisper. "I was out today...I got lost," I lied, but it was dark I knew Jacob would never be able to tell. He lied to me, so what if I told a few to him? The more I thought about it, Jacob did this to me. All of this! He's the one who lied and didn't tell me Edward died when he set him free, he's the one who tore Edward and I apart! Rage filled me suddenly, and I narrowed my eyes at him, glaring my hardest. But he couldn't see.

"It's okay...just, come to bed." Jacob reached to touch my shoulder. I angrily slapped his hands off as he gave me a confused look. How dare he touch me! Seeing him, and watching him act like nothing had ever happened between us...it made me angrier. I didn't want to cry anymore. I wanted to yell.

"NO!" I yelled. He still looked confused. Did he honestly not know what this was about? Did he forget the secret he kept from me for so long? Did he forget what he did to Edward and me? Maybe he didn't directly kill Edward himself, or maybe he didn't even take part in it, but he was still responsible.

If he had just left us alone when we ran away, Edward and I would be safe. He would be alive. And even if we were captured, Jacob could have kept Edward here. Alive. We would have run away again! If Jacob hadn't-

My angry thoughts were interrupted by Edward's calming words. "It's okay Bella. Calm. Down..." Tears gathered in my eyes now, spilling over my eye lids and running down my cheeks. My throat closed up, making it hard to speak.

"No Jake." I said as calm as I could, though I was still angry. "I'm-staying here for a while." I gripped the candle tightly and turned my back on Jacob. Edward put his arms around me, reminding me he was still here. I had almost forgotten, with all the emotional stress.

I felt Jacob's eyes on me as he watched me leave, I ignored it as best as I could. This had been the first time Jacob and I had spoken in months. And now, I wanted nothing more than for this to be the last time we spoke. It didn't matter that it ended badly, or that the last words we would ever share would be angry-sad one.

Right now, nothing mattered.

**King Jacob's POV**

I didn't know why Bella was so angry with me; I didn't thing I had done anything wrong...

But I knew deep down that I did; I had ruined everything in her life. She probably blamed me for everything...because I was to blame. But aside from capturing her, taking her away from her happy life in seattle (and forcing her to have run away in the first place) I knew the major reason she had yelled me just now. Because on top of everything I had done to her, I had killed her Edward; Bella must have known by now. She probably knew that I had him exectuted early, and that he had never been set free. She probably hated me even more...

But still, if things had to end, they couldn't end like this. We had to talk. I had to make her happy; Everything had to be, not great, but okay between us.

"Bella?" I called as she walked away. She stopped, but didn't turn around. "Tomorrow, I'll explain everything. I'm sorry." I said. For one second she turned back, but shook her head quickly and ran.

Bella ran away from me. It hurt me deeply, but I knew I deserved it.

**A/N: Next chapter is Edward and Bella discussing the grave yard thing in previous chapters and then Bella and Jake making up...well, they won't really, but things won't be terrible. And...maybe soon...Alice's twins will be born? Oh, btw, I chose their names : Adam and Aurora. HOW CUTE! REVIEW AND I'LL UPDATE FASTER!! I WOULD LOVE 10-15 BY TOMORROW AFTERNOON!**


	16. Serenity

**A/N: Here's the next chapter...**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

"Where do you want to go?" I whispered as Edward and I walked. My voice crack at least five times, and despite the fact I tried to hide it, Edward heard it.

He held me closer and brushed my tears away lightly from my cheek. "It'll be okay." he said comfortingly.

"No it won't..." I mumbled, so he couldn't hear. "Tomorrow...I won't be able to face- Jake." I knew I wouldn't! Not after yelling at him like that. But he deserved it, didn't he? I knew he did...but then why did I feel so guilty? What did I care if Jacob got his feelings hurt? I didn't care...much.

But I still cared and it still hurt when Jacob was in pain because of something I did. I realized how much I still, in a way, loved Jacob, whether he was King Jacob, or my little Jake. I cared about him still, and these past few months had been hurting his almost as much as me. But I was too absorbed in myself to care; I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and _my_ pain, when all along, there were other people hurting around me too. Jake and Alice...

Oh...Alice! She must be hurting most of all; Here she is, about to be a single mother of twins due any minute **(A/N: or chapter) **and the one person who's supposed to be her best friend isn't helping at all, with her attitude and moodyness and disappearing everyday. And Alice suffered a loss too; Her husband was dead, most likely because of what Edward and I decided to do. And I never even apologized. Alice had it worse than me, but she never did the things I did. Alice was a better person...

I hadn't realized it at the time, but I was sobbing. I also hadn't realized that Edward had lead us to our meadow, a place I hadn't been in the longest time.

"Bella...do you want to talk about it?" Edward held me closer now as we walked into the meadow, sitting in the grass just like we used to.

"I-just-feel-terrible..." I said between gasping and crying. "For eight-going on nine months, I've been hurting everyone I ever loved. I've hurt Jake, I've hurt Alice, I hurt my parent _months _before that..." I said in a rush to get it all out. "And tonight, I hurt-you..." I added in a whisper.

"No...you didn't." Edward assured me. But I knew I had; He wasn't a good liar, and I could tell at the graveyard that he was angry with me.

"I know I did." I countered, with a little more sharpness than needed. "Edward, I can tell when you're mad at me. And you have every right to be. I was stupid tonight. What happened at the graveyard...and when I kissed J-" I stopped, unable to go on. "But I didn't mean to kiss Jake. I th-thought he was you..."

"I know you would never intentionally hurt me, and I would never hurt you. And I wasn;t mad at _you_ at the graveyard, I was furious with _myself_." Edward's words shocked me. Why on earth (or up above) would he be angry with himself? He didn't do anything...

"What? Why? You didn't- I was the one who-" Edward stopped me abruptly.

"I shouldn't have hurt you." I tilted my head, showing my confusion.

"How?"

"Are you serious?" Edward looked more confused than me. "I should have made every effort to come to you, or at least told you that I wouldn't be able to make it, before I left the other night."

"But I shouldn't have done something so stupid! I should have understood that you couldn't come." I countered, surprised at how angry I felt.

"How could you understand something I never told you?" Edward whispered.

"Even if I didn't understand why you didn't come, I shouldn't have been so reckless! I shouldn't have tried to kill myself!!" Edward twinged at the words. I could tell he was upset, but I didn't stop yelling. "I should have thought about the people I loved, and how much that would have hurt them! So stop blaming yourself for evey damn thing!! Don't be responsible for MY actions!! I am not a child! I know when I'm wrong! Stop blaming yourself! You never did anything to hurt me and you know it!! I already feel like the most selfish person on the planet right now! Don't make it worse by saying it's your fault!!" It felt good to let all of my feeling go; I felt lighter, and happier with each deep breath I took, out of breath from screaming. When I had calmed down enough, I looked to Edward, giving him an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry...It's not you, it's me."I smiled weakly at my accidental use of break-up words.

"No matter what you say Bella...I will always feel guilty about everything. Because that's just how I feel. You can't change how I feel, Bella." I listened to his words carefully.

"I-never thought of it that way..." I whispered. "But I hate you feeling guilty. I wish I could stop that. I am capable of taking care of myself... But...I guess I'm showing that, running away to your grave, trying to-" I stopped, realizing the effecr my words might have on him.

"It's not your fault. You've been through so much." Edward shook his head.

"So has Alice..."

"But you have someone to be there for you."

"So does Alice...me." In that moment, I made myself and Alice a promise to be there for her. No one should got through what she was going through all alone.

"She's very lucky."

It was quiet for a little while after that, the brooke in the back splashed lightly and a few crickets chirped. It was nice; For the first time in what seemed like forever, I could breath easily. All my problems seemed to evaporate now, and at the time, they seemed to never be coming back. And though I knew they would eventually, I didn't worry about that. I just enjoyed the present sense of serenity and peace, completely content wrapped in Edward's arms.

**A/N: Sorry about the delay (again). I'v just been busy all summer. I'll try to speed things up though, I promise. You just keep reviewing!**


	17. Still in My Heart

**A/N: Here comes the sappy-adorably cute and romantic chapter!! Curtusy of Princess Candy-Lollypop-Star!! lol sorry, I would have update monday, but...**

**I WAS TOO BUSY MEETING PUSH PLAY!! AHHHHHHH!! STEVE IS SO HOT!! I also met Bailey (the search for Elle Woods on Broadway winner) and Cody Linely!! AHHH!! PUSH PLAY...**

**Bella's POV**

I was getting more and more exhausted by the minute, but I was too stubborn to go to sleep; Because I knew that if Edward caught me yawning, he'd put me to bed (and not in the way I'd like). I wasn't ready for this wonderfully painful night to end, but more than that, I wasn't ready for the just plain painful tomorrow to begin. Maybe if I stayed awake all night time would stand still, leaving Edward and I forever in this eternal state of serenity and happiness. Maybe, just maybe, we could stay this way.

Yeah, and maybe Edward would come back to life, and maybe we could turn back time and maybe, our futures could be saved.

Life didn't work like that, that much I had learned from past expieriences. Time couldn't stand still or be reversed and no one ever really came back from the dead, _body_ and soul. Soul, maybe, after all, Edward was right next to me. But I would never be able to _really _kiss him and _really_ feel him. I could barely feel his arms around me now, I realized. Ever since the first day, ever touch we'd ever shared had been only a tickle to my skin. But I was so sure I had felt him before...and I had fooled myself now. But at least the first time I could _feel_ a slight tickle; Now there was almost nothing. Edward's touch was fading from me at this moment, and I struggled to hold onto him even for just a few moments.

"Edward-" My voice was caught in a gasp; His body was fading more and more by the minute. His eyes flew open immediately and in response to the clear terror in my face, he glanced around nervously.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked taking a good look at me; I was opening my mouth, but nothing came out. My voice was stuck. "Bella?" Edward repeated. And I felt nothing on my skin as he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Edward- you're f-fading away." I was still in shock, watching Edward fading into nothingness.

"I know." He said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I told him; I really was getting sick and tired of him always blaming himself, apologizing for every little things. "Just...come back as soon as you can. I love you" I had to speak quickly, he was almost gone.

"I love-" Was all he got a chance to say. And then, Edward was gone. But I wasn't upset; I wasn't angry. I understood this time. And I wasn't about to do anything stupid. But still, it seemed that no matter what, whenever Edward and I could have one second of happiness or quiet, it was ripped out from under us too quickly. I didn't know when I'd ever see him again, but I knew it would be as soon as Edward could come. But I wanted it to be sooner than that; I still had so much to say to him, things I had time to say all night. But I thought there would be more time for that later...

I sighed, trying to reassure myself. I told myself that there would be, and willed myself to believe it. But I trusted Edward, and I loved him more than enough to understand that he had no control of this. So after I finally made myself believe that Edward really would come back and he really did care about me (and I felt stupid for having doubted it in the first place, something I needed to tell Edward...) I forgot all about how terrible tomorrow would be and just dosed off; And that night, I had my first happy dream that I can remember. Edward and me, and Alice and Jasper, all of us together and smiling, finally happy. With our happily ever after.

**A/N: Sorry this is shorter than usual; I'm just tired...**


	18. I'm Back

**A/N: BREAKING DAWN!! OH MY BOB BRYAR!! OMGEE!! OH MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!! FOR THE LOVE OF FRANK!! IT WAS SOO AMAZING!!**

**Oh, I'd also like you all to vote in a poll on my profile when your done...thanks.**

**Hugs and kisses!!**

**Edward's POV**

I left reluctantly from my dear Bella's side, but this time I was comforted by the fact that I knew she understood that I would be back and wouldn't do anything reckless. Of course I would still worry, but I trusted her and she trusted me enough to be back. Even though she understood everything, I still would probably come back tonight, even if I wasnt completely rested. Because despite what Bella thought, which was so wrong it almost made me angry, I wasn't just coming because I felt guilty. I was coming for myself just as much as I was for her; Of course I felt guilty about what she's been going through, but the reason I come, the reason I care is so much more than that. It's because I love her.

Even in death, we would never part. Because our bond was so strong that could last and carry far into the after life; And when Bella died...I stopped my thoughts right there. When Bella died...

As much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't help but think how things would be so much easier for us once Bella was dead. It was a horrible thought, of course but so true. I mean, things would be easier if I was alive and well, but that was not likely to happen. But Bella's death was inevitable and when the time came, I knew I would be as sad as I should be. And I had a feeling neither would she.

It would be a bittersweet moment for us both, I suppose. I would not be happy, exactly, but I wouldn't be overwhelmed with grief. But I knew that there would be many people who would be; Alice and Jacob especially. Even though none of this happened yet and most likely wouldn't happen for quite some time, I was thinking about it way to much. I was worry way to much. I was wondering- imagining- what it would be like to not have to sneak around to see Bella and to be able to stay with her as long as possible without worry. What it would be like be able to really feel her and to really touch her, like before.

But what would it be like for Jasper if Alice and his children were still alive and he still couldn't see them? What would it be like for Alice raising 2 children all alone, without her best friend? And for Jake? Because no matter what he did to Bella...I knew he really cared about her.

I don't really know what triggered all of these thoughts; Maybe it finally hit me full force what Bella had really tried to do today and in turn had triggered the fact that she would die eventually; It was then that I realized... I couldn't protect Bella from everything. I couldn't always be there for her no matter how hard I hoped. At least not until destiny brought her to me...

And took her away from everyone else she loved. But no matter what happened, I would still love her eternally. And she would die eventually. As would Alice and Jake and everyone in Forks. And to all their loved ones, death would be a guilty pleasure.

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I wasn't upset, I wasn't angry or even disappointed. Because this time, I understood why he left and I understood that it was not in his power to stay. And I trusted Edward and I loved him and I knew he loved me, and I felt terribly for ever having doubted that. He _would_ come back as soon as he could, but I hoped that he would wait until her was fully rested to do so. Knowing him, he'd come back tonight, exahausted.

And if he did, I would send him off. I didn't want him in any pain or discomfort, not for me. I loved him too much and he deserved better than what I was treating him. I was selfish and wrong to do what I did tonight and the day before that. Because through it all, he still loved me and even though it would be great to be with him when I wanted for however I wanted, would it be worth the pain of Alice and her twins? They _were_ do any minute now, and when they came I would hvae to be here. I was glad that Edward stopped me today. And I would never do it ever again.

I was able to sleep for an hour or two more; I didn't bother to move from the meadow, both because of the comforting atmosphere and because I didn't feel like dealing with Jacob.

Oh no. Jacob.

I shot up immediately, being greeted by the ironically clear nlue skies, singing birds and overall happy weather. It was ironic because this day was going to be anything but pleasant and enjoyable for me, yet the weather was perfect for it. It was the kind of day at a time I would look forward to. But not today. Because today I would have to...talk with Jacob.

For the first time in eight long months, I would have to talk to him. I would have to look him in the eye, trying my hardest not to cry. I knew what he would tell me. He would obviously tell me what I already knew; That Edward had died in an accident he had failed to tell me about. I would cry, but I wouldn't sob, because I would know that Edward was only half dead, but I would still cry from the reminder as well as a mixture of anger and Jacob. I would probably yell at him before storming out angrily to my old room. I had thought this out well. But it sounded so much easier when you said it.

It would be more painful and harder when I was actually confronted with the actually confrontation. But I would get through it. I hoped I would have enough strength; In the end, I would remind myself of Alice and her twins and. That's where I decided that I would get my strength from now on. Which reminded me, I needed to talk with Alice. She needed to know everything that was happening with me right now. I knew she had to have been hurting and now she needed to know that she didn't need to go through it all alone. She needed to know that her best friend was back and ready for anything life threw our way.

I stood up and stretched, when a felt a sore feeling in my arm. I looked over to it, and gasped in shock; I had forgotten about my self inflicted wounds. It looked like I would have to wear long sleeves until the scab healed. I decided it would be best to get dressed and maybe have some breakfast for my torture. I yawned before turning to leave, not knowing when exactly I'd be back, but hoping it would be soon.

I walked all the way to my old room, before remembering that all my clothes had been moved to Jacob's room. I heaved a great sigh, nervous and scared. I slowly walked to his room. The door was closed; Not a good sign. He was probably in there, still sleeping. I stood there for a moment, listening for anyone who might be inside. But I realized that I didn't care whether he was in there or not and it didn't matter if he was. I opened the door silently. No one was there. I sighed in relief, glad that I wouldn't have to deal with him. Despite my pep talk, I _did_ care if he was in here or not. I changed quickly into a dress with long sleeves, and brushed the mess the was my hair. When I decided I looked decent enough, I walked down the hall, stopping at Alice's room. I had a feeling that both of us would be needing some company; Breakfast together seemed the perfect oppurtunity.

**Alice's POV- (Hey, I'm back in the story!)**

I had been up and dressed for hours. I couldn't sleep at all, from all the worry last night. I still wasn't sure where Bella was, or if she was alright. I was pacing around my room now, rubbing my stomach slowly; The twins had been kicking a lot lately, maybe from their mommy's stress. I tried to calm them, and myself.

I had thought up all the worst case scenerios in my head; 1). Bella was dead, her body lost forever. No one would ever find it, or know what happened to her. But in the end, we would all know. 2). Bella was _still_ dead, but they had found her body and any minute someone would knock on my door, to tell me the bad news...

At that moment, someone knocked softly on my door. But I still heard it. This was it; Some stranger was about to tell me that my best friend was dead.

"Come in." My voice was shaky, but I tried to be strong, taking deep breaths as I prepared myself for the tears.

"Alice!" Bella burst into the room, looking perfectly fine and happy. I stared at her in shock, happy shock of course, but shock none the less.

"Bella!?" I cried disbelievingly as I pulled her into a hug. "Oh my god, your okay! I was so worried about you!" My tears came for a different reason than I thought. But I was so happy; I couldn't even express it in words. "Bella-I', glad your safe; If something had happened..." I shuddered at the thought.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I was so stupid and selfish..." she had tears rolling down her cheeks too but her smiled was wide and happy. She looked like she did...when Edward was still alive. She looked content and warm; It looked like she actually tried to look her best today, not just throw on some old thing she happened to find on the floor. I wondered what had happened to make her so different...but right now I didn't care.

"It's okay Bella, I forgive you. Completly!" Even I felt like my old self again; This was the perfect best friend moment. "But Bella, what happened yesterday?" I asked concerned. Bella hung her head down in shame.

"It's...a long story." She murmered.

"You don't have to talk about it..." I said understandingly.

"No; I'll exlpain everything. But first, would you join me for breakfast?" Her face lit up again and in that instant I knew I had my best friend back.

In the moment I knew things would get better.

**A/N: See, for making you guys wait so long, I made the chapter longer. It's almost 2000 words!! A record!! I think I deserve some review-love...**


	19. Confessing my Sins

**A/N: Here's the next chappie! Hope you all enjoy it, and please don't forget to review!**

**Oh, and btw, according to the poll, there might just be a third installment to this series!! Now to come up with the plot….(any ideas??) lol please review**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I could immediately tell a huge difference in Alice once she saw me; Her face lit up, she looked like her old self again. Her worry and fear had been replace by shock and joy as I embraced her into a hug. But it was hard for me to act so happy. Especially once I had seen the expression on Alice's face…

It was haunting and sallow, her eyes were wet with tears that had yet to fall; She was obviously worried. Because of me. She was hurting because of me. And not just now; For eight going on nine months she had been hurting. I had been doing nothing to help her. Some best friend I was. I shut the door quietly, pressing my back against the cold stone wall as I begged myself not to cry; I couldn't. It was _my_ turn to be strong for _her_. I blinked back tears before bursting in with my fake happy attutitude.

But it was only fake for awhile; Because once I saw Alice, and once I saw her smile, I really felt happy and I really felt better. Everything seemed like it was before. We were both happy and the air around us seemed lighter somehow. It seemed like things were looking up for us already.

I was expecting Alice to want a full explanation of my behavior lately; Why I kept disappearing, and why all of the sudden I was so happy (or so she thought). But I was still hoping to avoid the dismal subject, but she had a right to know. That's not one, but two painful explanations and slow conversations I would have to go through today. Why me?

We were walking down to breakfast now, talking about Alice's twins. Deciding on names and what not kept us busy for awhile. But I could tell both our minds were wandering; Alice looked like she was only half listening to the conversation. She looked at me through the side of her eyes, probably wondering when I was going to explain things to her. We were in the dinner room eating breakfast, when I decided now was as good a time as any.

"Alice, I told you I'd explain everything that's happened these past few days. And…I will." I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my jumpy nerves; It didn't really work all that well…but whatever. This wasn't going to be that pleasant no matter what I did. "When you and I w-went shopping a few days ago, I- I saw Edward." Alice exhaled softly and hung her head.

"Bella, you didn't. You couldn't have, because-"

"He's dead, I know." I said quickly. I breathed deeply before speaking again. "But I _did_ see him." Alice looked up now, confusion clear on her face.

"But he's dead." she whispered apologetically.

"Do you believe in miracles?" I asked with a weak smile. "Do you believe…in life after death? Don't you believe that-" I paused briefly, closing my eyes shut so I wouldn't cry, "that- Jasper is in a better place?" Alice's tears flowed freely now, running down her cheeks. She merely nodded in response. "Alice, it _was_ Edward; It was his ghost. He and Jasper are up there. Right now; He says that Jasper is so excited about the babies and they watch us all the time. And I know how crazy I sound right now-" I said laughing lightly. "But it's true." It was quiet for a while then; It needed to be. I was waiting for Alice's answer, I needed her to say something. I needed her to believe me.

"I- I believe you Bella." she looked up now and smiled.

"Really?!" I whisper-yelled in shock. I couldn't believe it myself. _I_ would believe me. Wow. She really was a best friend. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. You were never one to pretend, Bella. You were never that creative," She added with a chuckle.

"I guess you're right." I said laughing.

"And, I really always knew that Jasper was never really gone. Sometimes…when I'm alone, I feel like he's with me, you know? But…I thought I was crazy."

"No, you're not. You're just Alice." We laughed together than, smiling at each other.

"Is that why you've been so sad?" she asked serious now; Concern was strong in her voice.

"Yes. He was trying to- tell me he was sorry about all of this and that he was dead. But I wouldn't believe him…until he-showed me his grave." I shivered at the cold memories. "And then…I cried. That's why I went missing. But he comforted me, and promised to come back the next day-"

"But he didn't, did he?" Alice said sympathetically.

"N-no." I said. "I was so stupid last night. I was so upset and so lonely. And I just wanted to be with him so badly…and the only way I could have done that was- to go to…heaven… myself. By ending my life." I sniffled and wiped my eyes before continuing. "I- I c-cut myself…" I couldn't finish. These word were so hard to say. It was too difficult. "And I was so close to death- but he saved me." I smiled at the memory, painful as it was.

"I thought he didn't love me. But he told me he did…and I felt so guilty-" my voice cracked, but I ignored it. "That I ever doubted that. I was stupid and selfish and I'm sorry Alice. I wasn't thinking at all. I was being selfish and I didn't think at all about you and your twins. But I was in so much pain…but Edward stopped me from myself. And that's where I was yesterday. I'm sorry I made you worry so much. I'm sorry for all the pain you've had go through all alone for all these months. You've had to be strong for too long. And I promise that you'll never have to go through it alone ever again." Alice was crying silently now, and I was trying not to do the same. "Alice I'm-"

"No Bella! It's-not-your-fault! Don't apologize anymore, please!" she begged through her tears, pausing to gasp between words. "You're too good to me. You give me too much credit. Bella, I lied to you."

**A/N: Cliffhanger!! Please review! I didn't get many last time. I'm writing chapter 20 right now, but I will only upload if I get 10-20 reviews. PWEASE!! ****L**


	20. I'll Make It Up to You

**A/N: I know you are all on the edge of your seat, with a box of Kleenex by your side as you anxiously await this emotional chapter. It's even more emotional than the last!! ;( **

**But we all must be strong!! When you're done crying, please review.**

**Alice's POV**

"Bella, I lied to you." It killed me on the inside to say these words, but I just couldn't lie to my best friend anymore. Not when she was pouring her heart out to me in an apology. If she could tell me all of this, how Edward's…ghost had visited her (which I believed by the way) I could certainly suck it up and tell her how I've been lying to her this whole time. The tears I cried had nothing to do with her apology, heart-breaking though it was. I was weeping because of the guilt that was drowning me right now, as I took shallow breaths, struggling to even speak clearly.

"What?" Bella asked; She tilted her head in confusion, and a puzzled look crossed her face. "What are you talking about?" Bella got up from her seat to sit next to me. She stood next to me, patting my shoulders to comfort me.

"Bella- I've known that Edward is dead." I felt Bella tense behind me as she removed her hands from my shoulders.

"How would you know?" she whispered; I could hear her faint footsteps as she back away slowly.

"Jacob told me." I murmured. I hung my head down, in shame, disappointment in myself. I didn't want to have to look into Bella eyes; I didn't want to see her expression. It would just make it harder to continue on. "And he told me- not to tell you. And I didn't" I really didn't know what else to say. What else could I say, really? Well, now that I was done speaking, and I didn't have to tell her anything else, I could look at her now.

I turned my head slowly to face her; She hadn't moved back much, but she had collapsed on the floor and her head hung low so that her hair covered her face completely. I couldn't just say nothing; It was so unlike me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I said desperately. "I didn't want to do it; I wanted so badly to tell you everything. But Jacob threatened me, and I got scared. And I didn't want anything to happen to my babies." When I spoke these words aloud, I realized how selfish I really was. "You're not selfish; I'm the selfish one. I don't blame you for hating me." I added. At that, Bella's head snapped up.

"No Alice. I could _never_ hate you. You're my best friend. And I could never ask you to put your life and children at risk because of me." her words and the sincerity with which she spoke them shocked me.

"You- you don't blame me at all?" I asked shocked. I thought for sure that she would hate me or run away, locking herself in her room at the very least. And yet here she was, forgiving me, so easily. I couldn't ask for a better best friend.

"No. I really don't. And technically, you didn't lie. I never asked you if you knew anything about Edward." she said.

"But I should have told you! I should have told you when you cried to me, telling me that Jacob had set Edward free!! I should have-"

"What do you mean?" Bella said; Confusion and fear was clear on her worried face.

"When Jacob said he set Edward free- I should have told you the truth…" I said slowly. I thought Bella knew that already. Why did she seem so confused, so hurt…? And then it hit me. "Oh no; Bella, what did _you_ hear?" Someone had told Bella something else….

**Princess Isabella's POV**

"But…I thought…that Jacob _did_ set him free. Edward- told- me- he- died- after-" my voice was becoming more hysterical with each gasp in between word. I had tried my best to stay throughout this whole conversation; I wasn't even angry when Alice told me she had known about Edward's death. I was hurt, and dropped to my knees. But I reminded myself to be strong, and willed myself to continue. But after what Alice had just told me, I just couldn't remain calm; My breathing became shallow, and Alice came to me, staying by my side, calming me down.

"Bella, who told you what?" she asked once I had calmed down enough to speak.

"Edward." I said. Even I sounded shocked at the answer. "_Edward lied to me_". I said. Realization hit me hard, then. "How could he?" I whispered. I wasn't crying, much to my surprise. "Why would he do that? Don't I deserve to know?" My mind was racing, confused and disoriented. Nothing seemed to make sense; I was dizzy and angry and hurt. This talk couldn't wait until tonight. I needed to see Edward NOW.

"Bella, I'm sure he didn't mean-"

"Alice," I got up suddenly and quickly running to the door. "I'm sorry. I have to go." I turned away, but went back when something hit me. Because as angry as I was at him and as much as my heart was aching, I had to make everything up to Alice. And I knew just how to do it. I knew something that might make up for everything I've done these last few months. "No, you should come too. For just a moment." I tried to clam my voice down, hiding me angry with a weak smile. She looked confused so I spoke again. "I really want this to be a surprise." Then, maybe while Edward and I were discussing…everything he said to me…I Alice would have someone to talk to. Because I didn't want to leave her all alone, not anymore. (And I just couldn't wait any longer. This had to happen NOW).

"Bella, please tell me." she asked as we walked down to our (me and Edward's) meadow.

"Alice, I really need to talk to Edward-"

"I completely understand. But why do I need to come?" Alice interrupted me softly, so I let her speak.

"I don't want you to feel alone. I don't want to leave you alone. I've done that too much." I knew I sounded like I was apologizing again, but I didn't care.

"Stop apologizing." Alice whispered again.

"I'm not. I'm making all of this up to you."

**A/N: CLIFFIE!! Sorry is any of this is a tad confusing. Just let me know if it is, and I shall explain. Anyway, REVIEW!!**


	21. My Mistake

**A/N: Okay, this chapter is shorter than usual, but very important cough-cough SEQUEL PLOT cough-cough**

**I am actually very proud of what I chose to do with the sequel; I figured out a way to work the Volturi in and everything!! Woo hoo!!**

**Edward's POV**

Even though Bella said she would be fine, and I knew that she would, I was just too protective to leave her alone too long. It made me anxious. It wasn't because I didn't trust her not to do…what she had already done…because I knew she wouldn't. But, I couldn't help but be a little bit scared for her. Not because of the physical pain she may or may not put herself through, but because of the emotional pain I knew she would be in, no matter what. I couldn't change the fact that she'd miss me. I couldn't change the fact that we could never be together for more than a few hours. But I couldn't change the fact that I would always feel responsible, no matter what.

I wanted nothing more than to just go right down to her, but I knew that Bella would try to be strong, and tell me to rest some more. Not that I needed it, but I didn't want to upset or argue with her. I supposed I could settled with just watching over her for a while. At least until later tonight.

I made my way over to find her, when a startled Jasper walked over to me. He looked stressed in the worst way, which was unusual for him. I always knew Jasper to be a calm, serene person. Something must have been wrong; I could think of only one thing: Alice.

"Are you okay? Did something happen with Alice?" I asked. I could hear just the slightest hint of worry in my own voice.

"She's fine. She's with Bella." Jasper said rushing through his words.

"Are you okay?" I repeated, stunned by his nervousness.

Jasper sighed a few times, brushing his hair back and leaning his head back before speaking again. "Edward, have you been…going down there?" Jasper said pointing below. Crap; How did he find out?

"Umm…yes." I gave in; No use lying to him, he already knew. Why deny it? His eyes widened, and his expression was filled with fear, and worry…and anger? "Jasper, I had to see Bella. She was…hurting." I didn't think he'd need to hear the whole Bella-suicidal thing. I didn't know how else to put it.

He sighed again, exasperated this time, before he finally said "That's against the rules." Plain and simple.

"I know." I put my head down in shame. "I know what I did was wrong."

"Edward, they know." Jasper whispered now, trying to keep quiet so no one would hear.

"Who?" I asked both confused and worried.

"The Volturi." I stopped right then and there. My dead heart sank, and my mind went blank.

Everyone in the afterlife knew exactly who they were. They maintained the balance between life and death. They kept souls in line; And they had only one rule: Stay away from earth. Because the dead could never be seen by the living, and living were never to be seen by the dead in person. Those who broke these rules, or even attempted to, were punished. I couldn't believe that I could forget about them, I couldn't believe I had gotten away with it for this long. Carlisle had warned me to space out my visits; It hadn't occurred to me it was so they couldn't track them. I had done the exact opposite. I hadn't realized until then just how constantly I saw Bella. It was no wonder they had noticed.

"They don't know who it is; But they know someone's been sneaking off. Edward, it won't be long-" Jasper said after a moment of silence.

"Until they figure out it's me." I finished his thought.

**A/N: I know it's short, but I needed to get this out of the way; It deserved to be it's own chapter. So please review, and have a good night.**


	22. Confessions of a Teenage Drama King

**A/N: Whoops!! Been a while since I've updated; Sorry, I was getting back into school mode…**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I was on my way downstairs, rushing, maybe a little too fast for Alice. I slowed down a bit, once I realized how distressed she looked.

"I'm sorry Alice. I shouldn't be so hasty…I'm just mad." I lied; I was really upset, and hurt and broken. But Alice wouldn't know that. I stopped, really taking a good look at her. "Are you okay?" I asked apologetically. She merely nodded in response.

"Busy day." she said with dry humor. Whether or not it was intended I was not sure, so I just nodded and sighed. How was this going to work? I knew what I wanted to happen, but would Edward be able to…hear me? Would he be able to do what I asked? Would he be able to bring Jasper? For Alice? She deserved that much. At least she could be happy, while my heart was betrayed and breaking. At least she could have a few moments of joy while I spoke to Edward…

Edward; How could he lie to me? To me!? I loved him, he loved me and love meant trust, right? Didn't he trust me? But more importantly, _why_ did he lie to me? What was he keeping from me that was so important he had to lie? All of the anger I had felt previous to this moment, slowly receded. I realized Edward rarely lied; He only lied when it was something crucial, something that needed to be done no matter how much it hurt. There had to be a reason for it; There just had to be…

And I needed to know why. Now. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore…what else had Edward lied about?

"Bella, I think it's time we talk." I hadn't noticed with Jacob had entered the hall. He stood away from me, probably sensing that I wanted my space; Glad he finally caught on. But after last night, I had actually kind of…warmed up to him. A little. Not much, but a little. I wasn't as furious as I was yesterday night, maybe it was because I just needed to yell at him. I guess I had been holding it in for so long, it was a relief to get it out. I could be a tad more pleasant to him…but not before I was completely done yelling. But I couldn't do it now.

"Jake, I'd love to yell at you about what a jerk you are-" I said turning towards him with a fake smile. "But I'm in the middle of something at the moment, so if you don't mind-" I turned, taking Alice's arm and towing her with me, but Jake grabbed me; Lightly, but I was still angry.

"Bella, this is important. I'm done lying to you. I have to-"

"I already know every lie you've ever told me, Jake. And it hurts, and I'm angry and I know we have to talk about it, but right now, I have something to take care of." I tore my arm away swiftly, and kept walking, but trying to be slow, for Alice's sake.

"You- you know?" he asked nervously. He was following us, I could hear him breathing close behind me. I rolled my eyes and glanced at him quickly, but long enough to see him send a glare Alice's way.

"She didn't tell me anything; I found out for myself. Not that I wouldn't eventually…" I murmured, cringing at the memory. When I had found out…sitting on Edward's grave. When he had lied to me, for a reason I had yet to discover.

"Bella, I have to talk to you now." He swiftly stepped in front of Alice and I, putting his hands on my shoulders. I shook them off harshly. "Please. It's killing me. Even if you know, you deserve to know why. I want you to hear it from me." he sounded sincere and apologetic. He looked vulnerable…he looked like my Jake. I sighed heavily, remembering when he had been my Jake, and he had been my best friend. He still could be my best friend…if I could forgive him. And I was pretty sure I could. And maybe what he told me could give me a few clues to what Edward was going to tell me, once I was with him.

"Fine." I said. "But it had to be quick, what I need to do…is important." I stressed. Jake smiled in relief and nodded. "Alice, meet me in the meadow in half an hour." I told her. She looked a bit skeptical, but nodded.

"Okay Bella. But…what's the-" I stopped her;

"I don't want to ruin it." I smiled and turned to Jake. "Let's get this over with." He dragged me the other direction, away from Alice. "See you Alice. Thirty minutes!" I called over my shoulder and watched as she nodded and walked toward the meadow.

In five minutes we were upstairs, in Jacob's room; Now he only had twenty five minutes. Ha!

"Bella-" he began pacing a few times before finally sitting down. He patted the bed, next to him, beckoning for me to sit and I reluctantly sat next to him, but far enough to where I could stand it.

"Jacob." I said matching his tone.

"I don't know how to tell you this…it's going to sound terrible either way I guess, so here it goes." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Edward is dead."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, but didn't open them when I said "I know." I murmured. I still didn't look at him, because I knew that if I did, I'd start yelling and crying. I wasn't in the mood for that now.

"I know. I'm so sorry." Jacob whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me?" A few tears rolled softly down my cheeks as I spoke, my voice shaky. But I wasn't crying. This is old news to me.

"I thought you'd be mad at me." he hung his head down in shame. Shame he well deserved.

"I am. How could you not tell me?" my eyes flew open now, tears running more frequently. I didn't bother to brush them away.

"I was going to tell you eventually. But I was in shock from what I had done I guess…I didn't want to deal with the consequences." he said honestly.

"That's no excuse." I said quickly. "How- wait…" I was caught off guard, but had realized the meaning behind his words. "What do you mean 'what I had done'? What did you do?" my breathing sped up, my heart beat increased a million times over.

"Bella. Don't make me say it; You said you knew." he groaned and hid his face in his hands. He obviously didn't realized the hysterical tone to my voice. "You know I executed Edward."

**A/N: Cliffie!! Haha I am evil; Please update!! I'll be ur best friend!! And I'll update faster!!**


	23. Excerpt: My Knight in Shining Armor

"**Bella- I…" he trailed off, shaking his head, both in anger and disappointment, both solely at himself.**

"**No. I shouldn't have made you. I should have been strong." This was all my fault; How could I do this to us? To him…**

"**No; I don't…blame you." he said wrapping his arms around me tenderly. **

"**Because I'm not a strong person?" I asked as my voice cracked.**

"**No. Because no one could have possibly been strong under the circumstances. After all you'd been through…" Edward trailed off.**

**--**

"**Is this goodbye? For good?" I asked; My breathing was shallow, my heart was breaking, shattering into millions of pieces no one would ever be able to put together. **_**They**_** had ruined everything. **_**They**_** were the reason I was saying goodbye to him….**

**But at the same time, as much as I was mad at them, I was furious at Edward, and I didn't know why. I didn't know why I wanted to yell at him, now of all times. We had never had one fight…and now, when we only had so much time left…it seemed petty. But I was so angry! WHY?!**

"**I suppose it is." his voice cracked as he spoke, breaking my heart further. I wanted someone to catch the pieces; I wanted Edward to find them, and put them back together. I wanted him to try; I realized, that was why I was angry. How could he just give up on everything?! Give up on us?! How could he…**

**I wanted to yell some sense into him…I wanted to scream;**

**But, how do you yell at the man of you dreams, when your time together is running short? How do you do that, when you know your last few moments together should be happy ones?**

**--**

**A/N: Please do review!! Otherwise you won't get chappie 23; this was to stimulate your reviewing senses!!**


	24. Deep in my Subconcious

**A/N: Wow; Look at how fast I updated!! But honestly, I only updated because I want more reviews; They complete me!! But none of you seem to want to review. So…**

**Btw, GERARD WAY DYED HIS HAIR RED!! AHHHH!!**

**A moment of silence for his once luscious and beautiful hair…**

**AMEN!! ahem…now enjoy the story…**

**Btw, there's more Alice-Jasper b.c I feel I've overlooked them a bit**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

"WHAT?!" I yelled at the top of lungs, and it still didn't seem loud enough. My breathing was fast, and shallow, my eyes were so wide I thought they would fall out; And I wished they would, just so I wouldn't ever have to see Jacob again. "HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, so loud I was gasping for breath, just after that sentence. It felt like my heart had ripped right out of my chest.. I couldn't breath; I couldn't think. I felt as though my life was a complete lie. How could Jacob do this to me?! I think I fell on the floor; I couldn't register anything. But I remember hitting the cold, hard ground.

"I thought you knew…" Jacob said, nervousness and regret poisoning his voice. "I'm so sorry…" he tried to help me up, but I shook him off violently.

"No you aren't. If you were sorry, you would have left us alone in the first place." I spoke slowly, knowing that I would cry soon. It was only a matter of time now. "You would have left us alone!" my voice was barely a whisper, hoarse from my screams before hand. How could Jacob, my Jake, my once best friend in the entire world do this to me? He wasn't that cold and unfeeling. He had a heart…once. A warm heart and a welcoming smile. So when he did my little Jake, become King Jacob? When he decided to ruin my life? And when would he stop?

"I acted on impulse. I was angry. I was hurt- I still am." Jacob was sincerely upset, I could see that. And a part of me was truly sorry for that; a part of me wanted to reach out to Jacob and hug him and hold him and say he was forgiven for everything…but another part spoke against it. I just couldn't imagine forgiving someone who could do this to me… not a soul… _Even if he's your best friend_? My pro-Jacob half countered. My anti-Jacob half had no response. I waited anxiously for them to finish…but they didn't. _Will I_? I asked trying to hurry my two halves along. Until I realized, I was the only one who could answer. No one could make this decision for me…

So would I forgive him? Could I even bear to do it…?

**Alice's POV**

I was at the meadow, waiting for Bella. In the meantime, I figured I would contemplate what surprise she could possibly have in store for me. There was really nothing she could give. I already had her…I mean, out of her zombie-state. And that was enough for me. Bella had nothing to apologize for; She didn't have to make anything up to me. I couldn't want anything else in this whole world…

No, no. That was a lie. There were a lot more thing I wanted. Just one thing…

I wanted Jasper. No, I needed him, now more than ever it seemed. Though I had been longing for his touch since the day I learned of his death, but now I _yearned _for. To the point that when I woke up every morning, I wished- imagined- that he was next to me. And the nights before I would dream of him, having conversations in my subconscious, so deep that sometimes I found it difficult to remember what we spoke about. But they seemed so real; Too real. He wasn't how I remembered him. Not at all…

In my dreams, he was pale- white. And sometimes, I swear he glowed. And in my dreams, his touch was distant. I could feel it, but it was gentle…to gentle…

But he was still my jasper. And I needed to see him now. I needed to sleep. I shut my eyes, slowly drifting off to my happy place…

--

**A/N: Again, so sorry about the delay. But I was worried about the length of the chapter. I eventually decided it was better to just get the chapters out no matter how short. That's why I need your opinion…**

**Would you rather have long chapters every like…1-2 weeks? Or shorter chapters ever few days? Tell me in a review!! I need reviews!! It don't take long…**


	25. Broken

**A/N: Sorry the last chapter was so short!! But then again, I'm not that sorry because none of you reviewed!! :(**

**Guys, really, I'm getting sad. If you don't review, I may not write anymore. Besides school, that's really why I haven't been updating….I feel unloved.**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

"Bella?" Jacob whispered; His voice cracked.

"Jacob…" I didn't really know what to say.

I mean, what could i say? "i forgive you?", no because i was not sure if i would really mean it. But i knew that was what he wanted to hear. I knew it would make him happy...and that's what I wanted. I _wanted_ him to be happy. It was a strange thing to admit to myself, but it was true, I suppose. I wanted Jacob to be happy and I wanted to see that smile again. That big, wide, childish grin which at a time could brighten up my day no matter how dark. Until I met Edward...

Realization hit me like blow to the head at that one moment; In that moment, everything Jacob had told me had made sense...it seemed more understandable now. Everything he had done, he had done because of me. Not _for_ me, but _because _of me. He wanted me with him and he wanted me to stay. And I was never as clear as I thought I had been; Perhaps, all that time I had been leading Jacob along. Toying with his emotions, like the horrible creature i was. He had loved. And I knew that...but I didn't consider his feelings. Still, I didn't know how he could go so far. I wasn't sure if I could totally forgive him...but I understood. Poor Jake; I must have ripped out his heart that night at his ball. I could still see the hurt expression on his face, the look that triggered all of this. They look hearbreak; That was my gift to him! On his birthday! I truly was a terrible person...

Maybe everyone would be better off if I was dead; I deserved it. No! Death would be a pleasure to me...an eternity with Edward. Perhaps purgatory would be better suited for someone like me...

"Jacob..." I repeated. I took a deep breath, trying not to cry. My voice was so faint I could barely hear it against the throbbing in my ears; Oh wait, that's my wild heartbeat. "I understand your pain. I know why you did everything you did." was all I said. Saying I forgave him, I decided, would be a lie. And I didn't want to lead Jacob to believe them anymore. He deserved better than that; Better than someone like me.

"You understand, but do you forgive me?" he asked desperatly. I shut my eyes. This was too much; I couldn't handle this. Not now...

**Alice's POV**

My happy place. Everything was so peaceful here; The skies were bluer, and grass was greener, and for some reason everything smelled like vanilla. It was perfect there; I loved it. I just waited for Jasper now…

"Where are you Jazz?" I whispered impatiently; He hadn't been here last time. I was heartbroken.

"Alice." he walked towards me, his skin glowing brighter than I remembered. But it had been a while since he had visited me here. He must have been busy.

But he was here now, and I was glad. Maybe he sensed I needed him now…

"Jasper." relief was transparently clear in my tone as he embraced me in those warm, angelic hug that people would freely sell their soul for. "Jasper, I need you." Too bad, I thought, you can't be here.

**Jasper's POV**

"Where are you Jazz?" Alice's soft voice sounded in my ears. I had left Edward a few minutes ago. He said he needed time to think; Very understandable.

"Right here, Alice." I whispered. I wished I could go down to her. I wanted to be able to touch her. A part of me was angry at Edward for not telling me about his escape. But another part understood. There must have been a good reason.

I watched alice for a while, knowing that it was me she dreamt of. It hurt knowing that she dreamt of me...it hurt terribly. Because it was like i was causing her more pain than she was already in. I was hurting the one i loved and i couldn't mend her broken heart.

"The babies are fine." I heard her mumble. I smiled, in spite of myself; True, I had left her with the burden of twins. Without a father, but the thought that she would have something to remind her of me, a little piece of me to carry with her, until the day she would join me, her in the clouds. "They're almost here..." she muttered. Her face distorted into an expression of pain as her eyes flew open.

"It's time." I realized with mixed feelings. I was happy of course, but worried, afraid for my dear Alice; I prayed that she would be okay without me next to her...

Oh, how I longed to be next to her...

**Edward's POV**

I needed to go; I wanted to go. But was it safe? One more time couldnt hurt, right? I lied to myself. But I needed to go, just one more time. To explain to Bella why I was leaving, why I would never be coming to her again. I shuddered at the thought of not seeing Bella for even a day. How would she go on? How would _I_ go on? Could I...?

it was settled. One more night. One more time...I had to allow myself that.

I was running to Jasper, I felt obligated to tell him, now that he already knew.

He looked shocked; he looked scared. It was appalling. "Jasper?" I asked.

"Alice! Her water broke..." he sounded out of it. He was only half there. "No one's there for her! Bella- she's not with Alice. I want to be there..." he buried his face in his hands.

"Jasper..." I felt terrible for never thinking- considering this before. "Come with me." I said putting a hand on his shoulder. "Japser! You have to..." he had to.

"How-" he looked at me incredulously, not comprehending. I gave him a look, he understood. "Oh! Edward..."

"jasper, we don't really have time to do these sentimental thank yous. We have to go..."

**Bella's POV**

"I think I shoud go now..." I said avoiding the question. I got up quickly and rushed out of the room, but I still couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough. Jacob followed me, apparently not willing to take no for answer.

I quicked my pace, lifting my dress and eventually breaking into a run. But his pace remained the same, as far as I could tell. I slowed down. I looked back at him. And I saw _my Jacob_. He was back, it seemed, from the dead. Someone I thought, for so long to be gone...had returned.

"Bella...please..." he breathed. His eyes held the emotions he had no doubt been keeping inside all this time. Oh, he must have been hurting.

"Jake..." without thinking, I rushed towards him, wraping my arms around his massive chest, embracing him as though he would be gone, and Jacob would take his place. But I could tell that King Jacob was long gone. "I-" I was interupted, suddenly, by the most insufferable sound.

Alice's cries pierced the evening's crisp air. Her water had broke...it was time.

**Alice's POV**

I awoke, thanks to a sharp pain. I moaned in agony; it hurt so much. I warm liquid seeped from underneath me...what the hell?

Oh no; It was time. Now. Right now. The Baby was coming...

My head raced, my stomach twisted on top of the contractions which would only worsen. I needed help. I couldn't move. I could barely think against the panic. I needed a miracle...

"Alice..." a familiar voice called. Who was that? I thought I knew the voice, but it wasn't possible. No, no! He couldn't have been here...

"J-J-Jasperr...?" I murmured. he appear as if out of thin air. He looked just like he did in my dreams. I took in his appearance as if he would vanish. I made mental notes of every difference.

But there was none. His face had not aged a day; His blonde hair was just as I remember paler maybe... he seemed to glow; He was an angel, unreal, too beautiful to be true. Edward was next to him, and both were walking- running towards me. They weren't real though, I told myself. They. Were. Not. Here...

Jasper reached out a white hand. I don't know why, but i backed away. From fear? I was afraid, afraid that this beautiful man was a trick. And I would too soon loose myself in his eyes, pools I knew well, then his voice...and it would be that much harder to live when he was gone. Dreams were different, they were safe. I could tell my dreams were only dreams. But _he_ was more difficult to decipher. He was too real...but he couldn't have been real

He ignored my attempt to move. He placed a glowing hand on my face. And looked into my eyes.

And then I knew I wasn't dreaming. he was really here, a ghost from my past. An angel. I was so excited, so happy so shocked. I opened my mouth to speak...

But only a scream came out. Pain filled my body, seemed to course through my veins. Everything went black...

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!! I WANT 20 AND I WILL UPDATE! YOU KNOW THE CLIFFIE IS EATING YOU ALIVE!**


	26. The Grander Picture of Life

**A/N: Again, not happy with the reviews. :( but I'm still updating. BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS AMAZING! SO MUCH WILL BE REVEALED...but the story's not over yet; if you remember, this is also about Alice and her children; But that will be maybe... a few chapters or one big chapter seperated into different stages of the children's lives; might be in the threequel, too.**

**Bella's POV**

"Jacob! We don't have time for this; I'm sorry." I was running now, but not fast enough or so it seemed; I needed to get to Alice. She needed me..." Jacob, just get the doctors. Tell them to get to the meadow. NOW!" I screamed when Jacob didn't move. Did he understand, we didn't have time for this?! He must have sensed my distress, because he left without another word.

When I got to the meadow, tears of worry streaked my face and my my throat was hoarse with exhaustion. "Alice! Alice- Jacob's getting the doctors...you're going to be-" I stopped in my tracks; Shocked filled my brain as a gasp escaped my lips. "J-Jasper?" I saw Edward there as well, but I expected him; I expected his visits. But Jasper's appearance was a shock to me.

He stood over Alice, pain wiped over his face; He stroked her hair gently, barely looking up when he saw me. "Bella..." sadness dripped from his tone. His voice broke twice; He inhaled deeply before speaking again, probably trying not to cry. "Thank you-for everything. For helping Alice..." Edward walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me waist; I was still angry with him; furious in fact. But I would deal with him later. Right now, we had more important things my me and my relationship with Edward. "I don't think she's going to make it." I heard Jasper whisper, but I don't think edward and i were meant to hear. New tears replace the previous ones, leaving new stains on my cheeks. How could Jasper think like that? Alice _was _going to make it... she just had to.

**Jasper's POV**

I didn't know what to feel right now; Of course I was upset, dying on the inside. Like my heart was being ripped in two. Seeing Alice this broken, this hurt was killing me on the inside. And I couldn't help but think that it was going to kill her too.

That's the part when I really lost my emotions. I wasn't sure how I would react to Alice's death. How would I feel, watching her pure, white clothed, glowing soul rising out of her lifeless, pale corpse, ascending into heaven, leaving all of her loved ones behind. And joining me? As horrible as it would be, I could not but help to consider it; A part of me secretly smiled at the thought of being with Alice now, for eternity; Not having to wait for god knows how long. A part of me wanted her with me right now.

But I shook that thought from my head immediately. Still...I couldn't help thinking that Alice wasn't going to make it. I sighed; And what about the babies? My sons/daughters? I couldn't take their mother from them, even if it wasn't me who had personally done it. Alice needed to stay, I decided. Stay with our unborn children; That much I knew. I repeated this again and again to myself; Too bad I was having trouble believing it. A part of me _wanted- needed_ Alice with me.

I stopped stroking Alice's hair, for a time. Instead, I looked at Edward and Bella, trying to ease myself and my quiet, dirty desire. I had hoped that by looking at Bella and Edward, I could silence my evil wish by reassuring it that Alice and I would still make our relationship work; Bella and Edward did it, right?

Wrong, or so it seemed. Both of them seemed to be awkward, with each other; Bella seemed reluctant to touch Edward, that much I could see through her tears and soft crying. She looked uncomfortable with Edward around her waist. She didn't have that loving look I remember...

And Edward seemed to have so much on his mind, but other than that, he didn't seem to have any less love; he looked at Bella (not that Bella did). If anything, he looked worried, or hurt, probably noticing Bella's distance bodylanguage, not sure what to make of it. Needless to say this was doing nothing for my relationship anxienty.

Before long, doctors came rushing into the meadow, nurses bringing blankets and pitchers of what looked like water; the baby was going to be delivered here.

**Alice's POV**

My eyes opened, reluctant to meet the light; My mind was groggy, unwilling to remember what had happened last. My eyes could barely stay open. The only thing keeping me awake was the chatter around me,and the agonizing pain running through me. Where was I? What was happening-

"Here comes the baby." I heard someone say. Whose baby? My baby...MY BABIES!

I was in labor; right now.

Everything seemed to make sense, then and I fought hard against the pain in my head telling myself I had to do this. Alice was not a quitter;

"She's awake!" I heard another voice say

"Alice..." someone breathed; i knew that voice. It was thick with relief and waryness, but I knew that voice. And it sounded close; Jasper. Jasper was here. "Alice you have to push" I heard him say. I turned around as best as I could. I gasped, not believing what I was seeing. Yet, this all seemed like deja vu. Like I had been repeating this. In my dreams perhaps...

No; No, today. Jasper- edward- I could remember. The panic of it all- my heart beat speeding up, my breathing becoming shallow- so much panic, between the pain of the contractions and the shock of seeing jasper, risen from the dead, that I shut down completely.

"Jasp-" I barely could say his name, before more pain came back at me, full force. I let out a scream; Jasper winced

"Push! Alice, you have to stay with me." this voice was not jasper's but a man's; most likely a doctor. I tried me hardest to push- i tried not to scream anymore...Jasper held my hand gently, and stroked my hair.

Funny, how through all the pain, all the screams I swallowed back, that this was one of the best moments of my life. Strange how just knowing that Jasper was there, knowing he was holding my hand made this the most beautiful expierience of my life. It made the pain seem so trivial in the much grander picture of life.

And so, it was on that day, October 14th, hours later, that I gave birth to two gorgeuous and happy babies; Aurora and Aidan- my son and my daughter.

**A/N: AWWWWWWWWWWW!! PLEASE REVIEW OR ELSE NO KNEW CHAPPIE!**


	27. Don't Be a Hero

**A/N: SO SO SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've just been so busy and I can't find much time to update… ******

**Princess Isabella's POV**

All night I stayed up, all the while Alice was in labor. And I didn't know whether she was alive or dead and I couldn't help but fear for the worst; the last time I had seen her, she hadn't looked at all well. Her skin was pale beyond comparison and what had scared me the most was that she had fainted; she was unconscious. What if she didn't wake up?

Edward's arms, which had a one time or another offered comfort, held no desire or appeal to me now. I supposed I was still angry at him. I didn't think I was, but seeing him try to hold me as though nothing was wrong, when in fact everything was wrong just brought back all my previous irritation towards him was brought back to the surface. He sensed it, I could tell by the awkward way he held me and wrapped his arms around my waist. How reluctant and tense I was to get close to him. We sat in silence for a hours, only my breathing could be heard.

"Bella-" he began. "Alice will be fine. I'm sure of it. I know she'll be fine." He kissed my throat gently- but in a rush. Like this would be the last time he'd see me…like we were running out of time. Maybe I wasn't the only one confused about this relationship of ours. He must have had a good reason? Something that tied up the lies he had told me? There must be something I didn't know.

"How do you know?" I said as gently as I could, so as not to hurt him further. Why was I always so absorbed in myself? Why was I so clueless and insensitive to other people's feelings and what they were going through? Why didn't I stop to think about Edward and how this all affects him? "I- I mean…Edward, you've lied to me in the past. But not like this…"

"Bella? What do you mean? I've always told you the truth."

"No Edward." I turned my back to him, shaking me head slowly. "Jacob didn't really set you free. You didn't die in an accident- He killed you." My voice cracked on the last killed.

"Bella- I never meant to hurt you. You must believe that- I was trying-"

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me. And I know you didn't want to put me through anymore…loss or pain, but Edward, pain is inevitable. You can't shield me forever. And what hurts the most is that you _lied_. Whether you meant to or not, you _lied_ to me. But I'm not angry." I said turning towards him now. "I'm not mad. I'm worried. There must have been a good reason for you to lie to me, Edward. And there's something bothering you, I know it. And I wouldn't be a good wife if I didn't ask you to talk about it."

"Bella. I'm so sorry…but it's too hard to talk about."

"But I have a right to know, whatever it is." I wrapped my arms around _him_ now, holding him close. Because now, he needed the comfort.

"You do." He admitted quietly. But he didn't say anything; probably mulling the whole thing over in his head, trying to sort things out, wondering how to tell me.

"Do you want to have a baby?" I asked the first thing that popped into my head. He had always wanted children and maybe Alice and Jasper and made those feeling known again. "Is that it?" I said gently. "Because…Edward….if you think your…condition and you not being able to have a baby- I mean, if it bothers you-"

"Doesn't it bother you? Don't you want children? Don't you?" he asked curiously turning to face me. "Because in all fairness, you could walk right out that door and leave me. Leave me- for someone who can give you want I can't! Someone who can be there for you whenever and always."

"Is that what's bothering you?" I asked. "Because that doesn't bother me one bit; I could leave you…but I don't want to. There's no one else for me Edward. Is that it? Are you afraid I'll move on?" the idea seemed foolish to me; I would never in a million years dream of leaving him; Why would I give up perfection?

"I wish that was all that was a problem in my life right now." He shook his head. "If only…"

"If that's not it…then what is?" I asked. "What do you want?"

**Edward's POV**

_For you to leave me_ I thought bitterly. I wanted Bella to move on; I wanted her to fall in love with someone else, not because I didn't love her, but because I didn't want her wasting her life with someone who couldn't be there, couldn't give her children. And I wanted to make the inevitable separation easier, for her at least. I would never forget her, and I may not ever be able to move on…but at least she could. What would happen if she held false hope all her life? Waiting to join me in heaven and I wasn't there? If I was stuck in purgatory, condemned, neither living nor dead by the Volturi? I couldn't do that to her. The faster the separation the better.

"Bella- I want you to move on." I said not meeting her eyes. "Please. Before it's too late. You can have a life and you can be happy."

"But I'm happy now." She said stubbornly.

"No. You'll never know happiness until you forget me. Because I can't give you everything the living can- I can't-"

"You can give me your love. And that's all I need." Bella spun me around, looking deep into my eyes. And then I couldn't look away for those chocolate pools; I was lost. "Edward. What's wrong?"

**A/N: New chapter as soon as I have the time!! I promise! Now please review or else I'll be sad.**


	28. Goodbye for Now

**A/N: Wow!! I'm updating!! Woo hoo!! Well, I don't have school so that's why lol. But I was less than please with the reviews. **

**For my other story, I got like 20 review total the last time I updated. Can you top that? Because which ever story that gives the most reviews gets the most updates, because that's how I measure love…so REVIEW!!**

**Btw, I've **_**thought**_** very briefly of adding Nessie to the story, in the end. But she wouldn't be Bella's blood-related daughter; I'd have to make her like…12-13 and Bella would have had to adopt her…tell me what you think and vote in the poll on my profile!!**

**Edward's POV**

"Bella- I was stupid. I wasn't thinking about the consequences…I was only thinking of you. I didn't know I was only making it harder for you." I knew I was speaking in fragments. But I couldn't get the words out right.

"Edward- Edward- w-what are you talking about?" Bella asked frantically. "I-I just don't under-understand!" Bella was hysterical now; tears rolled freely down her cheeks, pouring endlessly from her chocolate brown eyes. Her voice was broken and shallow, rising an octave higher with each word she uttered from her lips.

"I was never supposed to come here in the first place; But you needed me- I was worried about you. I love you so much…I had to come. But, I forgot about _them_; I forgot about how _they_ could punish me. I didn't think about the consequences…I didn't think about how they could keep me from you _forever_." I said. Bella had stopped crying now, and had begun deep, frenzied breaths. She ran into my arms, which were welcomingly open.

"_They_?" she asked breathless. "Wh-who are _they_? And- I mean…whoever _they_ are, _they_- _they_ can't do anything to you! To us…" she said crying into my chest. I gently ran my fingers through her hair, deep in thought about how to break these dismal words to her; how unfair, I thought that what could be my last words to her will have to fill her heart with worry and dread.

"The Volturi." I whispered into her chocolate hair. "The Volturi are the ones who punish- the dead." I spoke the last word hesitantly. "And we aren't supposed to be seen by the living. And _they_ punish those who disobey." Bella was quiet for a while; too quiet. I wondered if she had fainted in my arms, but when I looked to check, she was awake. "Bella?" I asked worriedly; I needed a response. I needed to know she was still breathing, that she understood.

"Edward…" she said with a weak, broken voice. "How do _they_ punish- the-the dead?" her voice was muffled by my chest. This was the going to be by far the hardest part of this last exchange of words between us. I didn't answer, for a while, considered how to tell her, mulling over my thoughts, all while at the same time, trying to remember every last detail of this moment; trying to store away as many memories as I possibly can- the scent of her hair, the feel of her skin, the exact lighting- the broken look on her face…

NO! I wasn't going to remember her this way; only happy memories, the kind we had before all of this started. That's how I'd remember her. That's how I'd always think of my Bella.

"Edward?" Bella's voice brought me back from my mind trip. I smiled at the sound of her calling my name; I would miss it so.

"Yes, love?" I breathed.

"How-will you be punished?" I could tell it hurt her to ruin this perfect moment in time, but I didn't hold it against her; she had every right to know.

"Usually, we are sent to hell; Purgatory if you've done something _horrible_." I shuddered at the thought. An eternity, neither alive, nor dead- stuck between the bridge of both worlds, forbidden from both worlds.

"For how-long?" her voice cracked. I shook my head, slowly, knowing she wouldn't like the answer, before remembering that she couldn't see me. Still, I let my silence respond. Bella cleared her throat and stepped out of my arms- but I wanted her there, longed to keep her safe, hidden from the evils of the world. "So you came to say goodbye?" she said attempting a small smile for my benefit. But her face dropped just as quickly as she had smiled. "B-before you g-go to hell?" she asked. I was utterly confused now; to my knowledge, I wasn't going to hell- yet…

"What? No, love. I'm not going to hell or purgatory- the Volturi haven't found out I've been breaking the rules. I'm here to tell you good bye, because I won't be able to visit you anymore." I expected Bella to sob, as horrible as that sounded; but it was true. I just didn't think Bella would be able to handle this on top of her already awful situation. A tear escaped her eye, sure, but she didn't react like I thought she would.

"So…this isn't goodbye forever?" she said, smiling now; she was almost laughing happily- tears rolled down her cheeks more often, but she was still laughing.

"No- not if I stay in heaven," like I was supposed to all along… I thought. "But I should see you, eventually." I said, stepping closer to her. "On the other side." I added with a little humor.

"Oh, Edward!" she threw her arms around me. "I thought I'd never see you again- I thought you were saying good bye forever!!" she laughed, wiping tears away. Then, without warning, she slapped me lightly on the back of my head.

"What was that for?" I chuckled.

"For making me think I was losing you." She sighed contently. "Oh Edward…if I'm going to see you eventually, and if every moment you're with me puts you at more risk, I was you to leave. Now."

**Bella's POV**

I had to laugh at Edward's confused expression on his face when I told him to leave. "Oh Edward, you know it's not like that. I still want you…I always will. But I'd rather you still have a chance of living on in heaven than ruining your chance at eternal life because of me; why, I'd never be able to live with myself." I spoke blinded by tears. Edward looked back at me with hesitation and hurt in her piercing green eyes. "Edward, the sooner you leave, the better." We stared at each other for a while then; I tried to take in his features again, seeing as I wouldn't see him for a while. I let out a shaky sigh, though, almost slipping my cover.

I begged myself not to cry- not to let my sobs rip their way through my throat; I tried to force back the screaming pleas I wanted to speak instead of my selfless lecture I just told him. I _wanted_ to tell him how long and far from dying I really was and how I couldn't wait, how I wanted to die now if it meant I was that much closer to being with him. But I reminded myself of Alice and forced those thoughts to the back of my mind immediately. Not to mention I didn't want to worry Edward.

"You really want me to go?" he asked warily; he stroked my cheek, and I almost lost it then, and it showed both in my face and his. That's when I knew I wasn't really fooling him.

"Yes." I said. "I do."

"This is goodbye then." I had insisted we say out final goodbyes in the meadow; this is where it all began, after all. So it seemed only natural that it end here as well…

No, not end, I told myself. This wasn't a last goodbye- more like a "see you later" type of thing.

"Not goodbye." Edward said kissing me on the cheek; "A small farewell, until we meet again, up there, love" Edward smiled as he beckoned toward the clouds.

"Hmm…I can't wait; no more pain, no more suffering- just you and me forever."

"Bella- promise me you'll live life to its fullest; promise you won't-" I held up a hand to stop him; I knew what he was going to say.

"I promise- I will never try to take my life again." We paused to kiss passionately and hug in the grass, before Edward felt a tug, warning him to leave. "Take one last look." I said hugging him one last time. "I imagine I'll look…different the next time you see me."

He laughed before kissing me on the lips one last time- my hands tangled in his hair, and my lips pressing onto his…until they weren't there anymore.

**A/N: DON'T FORGET TO VOTE ON THE POLL!! AND REVIEW SO ILL UPDATE THIS FIRST NEXT TIME!!!!! THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ALICE-JASPER'S FINAL GOODBYES**


	29. Alice and Jasper: Final Farewell part I

**A/N: I AM SOOOO SORRY!!!! HERE BASICALLY WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED…**

**ME: oooh!!! Toontown!! YAY!!**

**(few weeks later)**

**Me: lyn-z, pregnant!!!??? NOOOOO!!!!!**

**(like…a ba-gillion months later)**

**ME: OH CRAP! FANFICTION!!!**

**Oh, and btw, Nessie is not coming at the end of this story, because 75% of readers do not want it, and 25% percent do (majority rules)**

**Jasper's POV**

"Jas-Jasper…" Alice sighed, clearly tired, but smiling regardless. She even seemed to be glowing, radiating her further. Our children sat, one in each of her arms on top of their mother. "They're so beautiful…and they have your hair-"

"And they have your pixie nose." I said adorning my amazingly brave, strong and beautiful wife. The children looked so much like their mother in the face; her small, pixie features matched hers perfectly.

"Hmm…whose eyes?" she asked pondering as she absentmindedly played with Aurora's tiny hand. She was on Alice's left and Adam on the right. He appeared to be smiling, quiet happily, at something; but I couldn't quiet tell what exactly.

"Well, let's say they have _my_ eyes…and your lips." I carefully kissed her soft lips. She smiled at me, and that's when another shared trait hit me. "Adam had your smile." I noted bringing her smile to a full on grin. "But I don't know what he smiling at though…he's probably happy he's got such a great mom." I said smiling specifically at my son.

"No, I think he's smiling at you." Alice said with a smug, yet proud expression on her face. "I think he knows his daddy."

"No Alice." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice, nor could I hide the frown that was plain on my face. "He can't see me, only you and Bella can. And he'll never _know_ me. Neither of them will." I could hear my voice getting "cold" as Alice would put it, but I found it easier to deal with reality when you blocked out the things it made you feel; I called it being realistic. I wasn't going to think or believe something that wasn't true and that was that. Still, it would be nice if he could see me. It made me sad, thinking about how my children would never know me; only by their imaginations and through Alice's stories and memories would they be able to piece together their own vision of me. It was because of this it was that I felt, in a way that I had truly abandoned my family, like I had let them down…it almost made me a monster in my eyes…

"Jasper, you know, they say that a baby is so innocent, so pure…that they can see angels." Alice almost singed. I looked up from Adam and over to Alice. She was always looking on the positive side of things; always trying to cheer me up. It usually worked in a big way, but I could offer then was a tiny smile.

"Thank you Alice, but…I think Adam's just a happy baby boy." I was about to touch his hand, but I stopped myself, deciding against it.

"You're not poison." I heard Alice mumble. "You have the right to hold your son…"I almost argued that point, that I _was _a monster and a horrible person, but that's before I felt a hand- smaller than Alice's- on mine. I quickly looked over, to see Adam's eyes dart from where my hand was, and to where my face was. "See?" Alice chirped happily. "I told you so. He _can_ see you." I stared at my son, unable to really say anything in particular. "And so can she…" Alice carefully shifted so that Aurora too was facing me, with a faint smile on her lips. Adam had moved his hand now, and closed his eyes, probably falling asleep. But Aurora was still wide awake, with the same smile on her face. I sighed deeply disappointed with myself now.

"Jasper, you didn't abandon us you know." How was it that Alice always seemed to know what I was thinking? "It wasn't your fault. None of this. God, you sound like Edward…" she mumbled. Now that she mentioned it, I did. I never knew what it was like for Edward to be separated from the one he loved, when we had been alive. But now I see. Especially when you know that you are hurting who you love.

"It is in _my_ eyes. And I'm sorry about that." I glance out the window, and winced as the sun seemed to go down just a fraction more. Alice reached over and touched my cheek. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I'm glad you're here, Jasper. I'm glad that you could be here with me. With _us_. And-" she yawned. "Now I know you can visit us in the future." She smiled widely, and I felt as though I had taken a fatal stab in my heart. This is why I was a soulless monster; I hadn't even had the heart, the decency, to tell Alice this would be the last time she would ever see me. I hadn't yet told her goodbye.

I had been so absorbed in my own thoughts; I hadn't noticed 2 small pairs of hands on my face. Alice was grinning and my heart just couldn't take it anymore. This had to end; they were making it too hard-Alice and her radiant glow, the twins soft hands on my face, everything was making it so much harder to have to say goodbye- which I knew was inevitable. I couldn't risk it; the Volturi were just too powerful.

"They _can_ see you." Alice teased. But I couldn't smile back. I gently moved Adam and Aurora's hands off of my face before speaking; so instead, they placed one hand each in the palm of my own.

"Maybe they can." I relented with a small smile.

"And, I know…they'll have this memory. They'll keep it."

"But they'll never truly know their father. And I'm sure this memory will fade in time." I said looking away. "I _hope _they keep this memory…" I said to myself; maybe if I repeated it over and over, it would be true.

"And if they forget….Well then, I'll just give then new ones. Every night, I'll tell them our story; the young maiden who feel for a handsome, brave knight and how fate cruelly took him away…" sadness briefly washed over her face, but she recovered quickly. "But then, gave her 2 beautiful kids."

It was quiet for a while then; Just my family's breathing.

"And don't worry Jasper. You'll always be with them. And I don't know when…but you'll be able to visit, right? At least once in a while…." She trailed off.

I looked away again; so much for saying a final goodbye- that was supposed be like…5 minutes ago. I sighed.

"Alice-" I was surprised by how quickly my voice had gone from happy and content, to serious and regretful. I knew Alice could hear it, sense it. I couldn't hide anything from her.

"Jasper…" her tone matched mine. "What's wrong?" I cleared my throat.

"Umm…maybe you should have then sent to the nursery?" I suggested, trying a lighter tone. She nodded and the nurse came in, and left quickly. Adam and Aurora whined in protest- crying for _me_- but I suppose the nurse thought they cried for their mother. I waved goodbye, trying to smile- trying to make the most out of this last moment I would ever see them. And then they were gone.

But now, here came the hardest part. Saying a final goodbye to my beloved Alice.

**A/N: DA DA DAAAA!!!! Okay, please review or else I won't update til like….January!!! the 31****st**** of January!!! And no one wants that…..because then I can't start the 3****rd****!!!! **


	30. Alice and Jasper: Final Farewell part II

**A/N: I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE!!! BUT I DIDN'T GET ANY REVIEWS SO I THOUGHT NO ONE WAS READING IT ******** so….….PLEASE REVIEW and I was actually trying to study for midterms **** AND DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW U MAKE THOSE LITTLE HEARTS???**

**Alice's POV**

"Jasper…" I began. "You…won't be able to visit…will you?" I tried to be causal. Of course I didn't blame him for this, so I wasn't angry. Just a little disappointed; Maybe a little scared and afraid. But I didn't know why; I just had a bad feeling. Not just about our kids…but Jasper. I felt like something was wrong; that there was something he wasn't telling me.

"…no." he said hesitantly shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand." I said; he shouldn't feel responsible for something he couldn't control. I understood…really; but that still didn't change the fact that this would be the last time I'd ever see him.

**Jasper's POV**

"Don't be. I understand." Alice said. But the understanding didn't really reach her eyes- only unshed tears.

"Alice, I really am sorry." I stroked her hair in an attempt to comfort her, but I knew the only thing that could truly comfort her was if I was alive and if I could promise to marry her and raise the children with her. But I wasn't alive and I couldn't do any of those things. And I wasn't about to leave her empty promises. I wasn't about to leave her hanging on false hope. I had seen what it had done to Bella and wouldn't do that to Alice. "But I just can't risk it. I promise though, you'll understand-"

"Risk what?" Alice asked. Her voice wasn't sad or angry; she just sounded tired and curious. There were a few tears rolling down her cheeks, but she wasn't crying. Alice hardly cried unless things got so bad she couldn't do much else. So I knew she had to understand to degree, and that was a relief. All she wanted was an explanation; I could give her that much.

"I…I'm not supposed to be here; I supposed to be in heaven- always. Leaving is never allowed. And I know that if I keep coming…It will be harder to stop- for both of us. And then eventually-

"You'll get caught." It wasn't a question. "It's alright, but I just…wanted to know." She nodded and then looked down on her lap. A few tears dropped down on her nightgown. It was quiet for awhile; because I didn't really know what to say- nothing I could say would comfort her. "well on the brightside, when you die, we can be together again!" that just didn't seem sensitive. "I understand…" I heard her mumble, but I don't think it was for me to hear.

"Alice…I know you understand." And I did. I knew she understood and that she didn't blame me (even though I blamed me) but I also knew she was just putting on a strong face for me. She did that for everyone. But she didn't need to protect me- I had to protect her. "Everyone is…being extra cautious- someone's been down and-" I said too much; Alice didn't need to know that Edward had been the one who had broken the rules. She didn't need to blame him or Bella.

"I know it was Edward." She said reading my mind. She wiped her face and spoke casually. "I know everything" she whispered playfully in response to the shock that was more than obvious on my face.

**Alice's POV**

"You're right Alice." Jasper mused. "I never really could surprise you." He laughed lightly. But all I had to offer was a weak smile- a complete 180 from my usually bright happy grin. I vaguely wondered if I would ever be able to smile again. But then I began to think about Bella and Edward.

Me and Jasper's relationship so much different than Bella and Edward; not to say that they weren't in love, or that their relationship was screwed or that they were stupid- we were all just different people. Take for instance Jasper and Edward and how they make decisions; Jasper loves me, but that doesn't keep him from making the right decision. And I know that even if it hurts at the time, that Jasper did what was best for the both of us. The only thing that bothers me is how emotionless Jasper can be at times; I know he doesn't mean to be, but for once I wish he would allow himself to feel and to show it.

Edward was blinded by love and worry when he made decisions; not that I blame him for worrying about Bella, but he didn't really give her enough credit. She was strong if she was given the chance. But then again, at least he allowed himself to feel…

My thoughts began to wander then my eyes began to close without my permission; but I was so tired…

"Alice?" Jasper called in a whisper as he gently stroked my face.

"Hmmm?" I barely mumbled so even I couldn't hear. My eyes warily tried to find Jasper, but only darkness met them. Only then had I realized that my eyes had drooped down without my permission (which made me see just how tired I was); I knew I should sleep, but I didn't want to. These could- would be my last few moments with Jasper and I wasn't going to waste them sleeping. But…I was so tired…

"Alice- baby if you're tired I can leav-" he began, but I wouldn't allow him to speak another word.

"NO!" my eyes flew open instantly, and a single tear fell down my cheek in the process; I usually wasn't so dependant, but I needed him with me right now. I was just so weak and tired and scared. But I hid that one tear as well as my real feeling away from Jasper, and I knew it worked when he chuckled. "I'm not tired- I was just resting for a minute. I'm all better now. Stay." I smiled playfully as I struggled to keep my eyes open. He merely chuckled again.

"You were falling asleep…" he teased. And in that moment, in the tone he used in the way he smiled and in the way I felt- things seemed normal. I don't know why but things just felt right. Maybe because we had stopped talking about our troubles but I felt like Jasper had never even died.

"I can sleep any old time!!" I shot back as I laughed. I was still tired but it was a nice kind of tired- lazy. Where everything is slow and calm and you feel good despite being achy and drowsy.

"You can sleep and I'll watch?" he offered. I scoffed.

"That's not creepy…" I muttered. "I will not waste my time with you sleeping so-" I finished by sticking my tongue out at him. We went on from there- just mindless and endless chatter. We didn't talk about anything in particular. It was a comfort to me; so much so that I completely forgot about all my pain and worries. But I noticed that Jasper seemed to be growing more and more uncomfortable- he was trying to hide it from me, his discomfort. And up until this point it had worked. "Jasper…" I sighed. "Why didn't you just tell me? I wouldn't have minded."

"What are you talking about?" he asked attempting (and failing) to play dumb.

"Jasper, if you have to leave just say so. I don't mean to keep you. I know it's just making it harder for you.

"…I can st-"

"No you cant. And you know it. Now go! I need my beauty sleep." I winked at him. He still looked unsure though as he got up from my side. My mind screamed don't go, stay I need you! And screw heaven! But I knew this was for the best. "I'll be fine." He nodded quickly, and took my hand in his.

"I know you will." He leaned down and kissed my softly on the lips and I happily kissed back. But I stopped it short- it was going to be hard enough without that memory.

"Go on." I shoo-d him as I smiled. "Heaven is missing an angel." And I laughed lightly at my cliché joke. "I'll be there soon."

"But not too soon?" he sounded worried and it was adorable. But it made me worry too…kinda. But I promised to myself I wouldn't let that happen.

"No. I'm a mother now…" I grinned at the thought. "I have something new to live for." He winced at my words, but smiled anyway, trying to recover.

"You'll be a great mom. And I'll be watching, I promise." He leaned down one last time to give me one last kiss. And then he whispered into my ear, seductive and sweet, "sleep."

I sighed. Sleep _did_ sound good right about now. So I closed my eyes and prayed that I would keep this memory to replay over and over again. And when I was done, I whispered to him one last time.... "goodnight Jasper…"

**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	31. This is Only the Beginning

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED!!!!!!!! BUT SOME STUFF HAS COME UP AND I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND THE TIME!!! BUT I'M BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!! PLEASE REVIEW AND I PROMISE TO GET THE NEXT CHAPPIE TO U ASAP!!!**

**Princess Isabella's POV**

I don't know how long I stayed in the meadow, hands buried in the sweet grass, hoping that maybe if I wished hard enough, Edward would be back in my arms; I don't know how long I bit my lip, trying so hard not to cry, praying silently for Edward to come back, just once more. I don't know how long I had been trying hard not to think that I had nothing to live for, before I remembered that I did. I gasped out loud and screamed to myself for being such a terrible friend. I had Alice- and Alice had twins…God I was such a bad friend!! I mentally scolded myself as I rushed to the infirmary, trying to forget everything bad that had happened to me today. Instead I thought of Alice and everything she had been through- she needed me and I needed her. We could be a family. Just the two- erm, four- of us.

When I go to Alice's room, I stopped, stepping away from the window so I wouldn't disturb them; Jasper and Alice were talking, in hushed tones. From here I could tell that Alice was exhausted, but she looked beautiful; almost glowing, as beauty and pride radiated from her fatigued body. I smiled, happy that at least they got to be together for a while longer. So stayed out of sight, and left them alone. I didn't try to listen to their conversation, but I heard parts of it. It was similar to my conversation with Edward, I suppose- it seemed we were all in similar situations…

No, that wasn't completely true- I knew it would be much harder for Alice, with two kids and no father. I began thinking about ways I could help make it easier, for all of us, but her especially, when I saw Jasper get up, quickly kiss a sleeping Alice on her cheek. He looked around the hospital room, and I saw him take a deep sigh before he spotted me. He tried to smile, but I could tell it was hard for him. I waved back and walked as quietly as I could into the room. We both looked at each other for a brief second, before looking down, silently. Neither of us knew what to say, and all that could be heard in the room were Alice's soft snores. But after a few minutes, I surprised myself from speaking first.

"Jasper…I'm- I'm sorry." He looked up, confusion spread across him face. "I don't _know_ how hard it is for you right now, but I imagine. And I'm sorry. This is all my fault…" I looked back down to hide my tears and my shame. "I should never had- I mean, if I wasn't so selfish- if I had just stayed in Forks and hadn't run away- maybe Jake wouldn't have sent you off to war. You'd still be alive- Edward would still be alive…you and Alice would still be together- a happy family- If I hadn't-" I had to stop then, I was almost hysterical. But I remembered Alice was sleeping, and I covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the sobs.

"Bella, it's not your fault. Hell, we wouldn't even have been together if it wasn't for you." Jasper walked over to me. He hesitated, before wrapping me in a hug (**A/N: A FRIENDLY HUG!!!!! THIS IS NOT JASPERxBELLA**). He had never been one to show affection this way, and it was as surprising as it was comforting. It was a friendly, brother-sister hug, but I could feel his tension and awkwardness. "It's no one's fault- except Jacob's"

I shook my head furiously. "No! It's my fault…I shouldn't have- I didn't have to- I mean- But I couldn't and Jacob…" I couldn't form coherent sentences and after many failed attempts, I just gave up and controlled my crying. I took deep breaths, and wiped my face before softly hugging Jasper back and then breaking free from the embrace. "Thank you Jasper- I needed that…" I sighed shakily before sitting down in a near by chair. "But, I really am sorry…"

"It's really not your fault- death cannot be prevented. It's an inevitability." He shrugged indifferently. As depressing as it was though, he was right in a way.

"But it wasn't your time to go-it can be prolonged…" I argued.

"How do you know it wasn't our time? It's not something we can control. Yes, it can be prolonged, but for how long?"

"We can control it- Jacob _chose_ to have Edward killed. He _chose_ to have you taken to war-"

"But I didn't choose to die. No one does- but we all die. Even if I wasn't sent to war, I would have died eventually-I'm a knight, I go to war. I can't control what happens when I go into war."

"You can choose not to be a knight. No one made you make that choice-" I paused. "Do you regret that choice? Any of the choices you've made?" I was curious now.

I watched Jasper as he thought for a while. His face became blank and hard, as was normal for him I suppose. "Sometimes. But, if Jacob hadn't sent me away," he looked over to Alice, "Alice and I wouldn't have had the kids…she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, I mean"

"What do you- oh!" I said once I understood. He laughed lightly.

"Yeah…" he shifted awkwardly. "That I don't regret. Until I remember that I left her to raise 2 kids without a father or husband…" he looked like he would have cried. But I could tell he was trying his hardest not to. "It's hard to leave her right now…but I have to go…"

"I'll take good care of her. In anyway I can. I promise." It was my turn to comfort him. I walked over, hugged him one last time and rested my hand on his shoulders.

"And I'll keep an eye on Edward." He laughed without humor.

"Deal." I whispered. We said out last goodbyes and I thought he was going to leave; but he stopped abruptly and turned back around.

"Bella, tell Alice- and the twins- that I love them." Tears stung my eyes and a warmness from within melt my heart. I was about to answer, but before I could even part my lips to answer him, he was gone.

I waited for a few hours by Alice's side, before she woke up. Her eyes fluttered for a second, and searched the room (looking right past me by the way), probably looking for Jasper. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily.

"Of course it was a dream." She muttered.

"What was?" I asked. Her eyes flew open, she jolted up and turned to face me. Uh oh. Here it comes….

"BELLA!!!!" she screamed excitedly "Oh, Bella, I've missed you- I had twins-can you believe it? A boy and girl, Adam and Aurora. They are so perfect, oh Bella I'm just so glad to see you!!" she said all that in one breath and so fast I couldn't understand her at first.

"Alice, that's so great. I'm happy for you." I couldn't help but grin- hello, my best friend was a mom!!

"Why didn't you come and see me??" she said in fake anger and disapproval. "You could have held them!"

"…I, was in the meadow…" my tone changed to one of sadness. She caught it, because she sat up and touched my hand.

"With…Edward?" she asked. I nodded. Tears slowly streamed down my face, but I tried to smile.

"Yeah. Just, saying our last goodbyes. I came to see you after, but you were busy." I quickly wiped the tears away. _No more tears_. I told myself. _Never again_.

"Sleeping? You should have woken me up!" she complained.

"No, Alice…you were with Jasper." She gasped.

"It wasn't a dream? I thought for sure I had dreamt the whole thing…"

"You didn't, Alice. He was here. I saw him. He wanted me to tell you and the twins that he loves you. I think he told you already before he left, but he wanted me to remind you."

"Oh! Jazz…" she sighed, and looked up to keep back tears. "God, I'll miss him."

"He's not really gone. Neither is Edward." As long as I kept reminding myself that, I would be okay, I told myself; _we_ would be okay. "We'll be okay."

"I know we will." She smiled and faced me again. "All four of us will be just fine."

**A/N: THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY!!!! I HAVE LOTS MORE CHAPTERS I WANNA WRITE BEFORE I START THE THIRD ONE!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	32. Jacob's Apology

**A/N: I'm so unbelievably sorry for the lack of updates!!! I meant to update Sunday, but after I wrote a chapter for my other story and uploaded it, my computer like would upload the document and the site was giving me troubles…But it's fine now. Again, my sincerest apologies. Please review.**

**Princess Bella's POV**

The next few hours were pretty calm. Peaceful. Alice- in need of a much deserved rest- had fallen asleep. I was staying by her side, just waiting. A few times the nurse came in to check on Alice, but besides that nothing really happened. Until Jacob came in.

Because of all the drama with Edward and Jasper and Alice I had completely forgotten about him. I had forgotten about him. I had forgotten that I had avoided his plea for forgiveness. And after all I had put him through; I owed him that at least- a straight answer. I saw him come to the door through the corner of my eye but pretended not to notice as he stood outside. I saw him hesitate briefly, before knocking gently. I held my breath as I heard slow footsteps approach. I closed my eyes, wishing that I was dreaming. And I would open my eyes and he would be gone. And I could just be happy with Alice and not worry about him. But its silly to wish things when you know they can never happen.

"Bella…" he said. His voice sounded dark- but not angry and harsh like King Jacob- just depressed and hurt like my Jake.

"Jake…" I matched his tone. The tension between us saturated the air and made it hard to breathe. Neither of us said anything for a long time. We just looked off in different directions- or at least I did. I could feel Jacob's stare on me but I tried to ignore it. I wanted to prolong this as much as possible- I hoped forever, if I played my cards right. And it's not because I was angry at him or because I wanted to make him suffer; because I had made him suffer longer than any man- no matter how terrible he acts- should have to.

I wanted to avoid this confrontation because I wasn't sure if I had forgiven him yet. I mean, I understood (in a way) the things he did. But that didn't mean that they were excusable. He still killed Edward- my one and only love. It didn't mean he and I could go back to being best friends. Not now, at least. I needed time to think. I needed to sort through all of my messed up thoughts. And I didn't want to do it right now, after everything that had happened today.

What confused me and hurt me the most was how much I wanted to forgive. And how much I knew I never would be able to. I wanted him and I to go back to being best friends and I wanted everything to go back to normal. But I also wanted Edward to not be dead. And I wanted to rewind time and stop all this from happening. But not everything you want happens.

"Is she okay?" Jacob's voice sounded closer. I looked behind me quickly and sure enough, there he was. Not two inches away. I sighed heavily and nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah she's okay. Just tired." I said.

"You look pretty tired yourself. Maybe you should go to bed? I'm sure she'll be fine." He said. His hand moved toward my shoulder and just hung there above it, hesitating, struggling whether or not to lay his hand on my shoulder. Finally after much internal debate, he decided to put it at his side.

I shook my head quickly. "No. I'm fine. And I promised her I wouldn't leave her so…" I trailed off. And it was silent all over again. Until I began crying.

I don't even know why I cried. I guess I just felt so overwhelmed. So much for no more tears…

But I guess I will never be able to never cry. I wouldn't be human then. I'd just be an emotionless blob, and what kind of life is that, really? I would have to feel and I would have to live. Despite all of the bad things life would probably throw at me. Jacob put his arms around me and I let him. I almost hated to admit it to myself, but if felt good to touch him again. It was nice to be in his embrace. I really had missed him all along, I realized. But I was too angry and hurt and busy missing Edward to feel anything but hate. I mean, I was still angry. And I would always feel hurt. But missing Jacob made it harder to be really _hate_ him.

And even if it was easy to hate him, I knew I could never bring myself to do it.

When my tears stopped my cries silenced and I trusted my voice enough to speak, I managed to break the silence with my tired, weak voice. "I'm sorry, Jake." I didn't expect him to forgive me. After all, I had put him through a lot. And I had hurt him a lot. But I did not except what his response.

His body went rigid and for a brief second it shook with anger. Then he tore me out of his arms, with so much force that I stumbled back and lightly bumped into the wall. But my clumsy self still managed to fall onto the ground, despite Jacob's gentleness.

"What are _you_ sorry for?" he asked angrily. I couldn't answer. I was too shocked at his reaction. And what did he mean why was I sorry? After everything I had done to him? Had he forgotten?

"W-What?" I stuttered. "I'm sorry for making your life miserable all these months. You don't deserve it. And I'm sorry…" my voice was meek and small and timid. I was never any good at sounding brave- but even more so now. I wished I could have sounded brave. I wished I could have sounded strong and firm. But I couldn't. And his anger made it all the more difficult to stand up- literally and figuratively.

My answer seemed to anger him even further. I still could not move from the floor. All I could do was sit and stare at him in amazement. What was he so angry about?

"Bella-I- How can you- None of this-" his mouth seemed unable to form real sentences; everything came out in a jumble of anger and frustration. I watched as he paced quickly back and forth around the room and I screamed a little as he slammed his fist hard on the wall.

"Jake!" I gasped. He sunk to the floor and buried his head deep in his hands. "I'm sorry Jake! I- I understand if you can't forgive me. But if things had to end I at least wanted them to end with my apology…" I guess he wouldn't forgive. I guess I had hurt him too much.

But I guessed wrong; I hadn't realized it until I heard his cries.

"Bella- _please_ don't say that you're sorry. How can you possibly think that _any_ of this is your fault?" his voice was muffled by his hands and his tears. It was a heartbreaking thing, seeing someone you cared about in so much pain. A little unsteadily, I rose up from the ground, but my knees buckled under me because of how much I was shaking. So I crawled over to Jake and wrapped my arms around him. And I held him. "I'm so sorry Bella." He whispered. "For everything. But please don't blame yourself." My grip on Jake tightened. And I was sure of my answer now.

"I know, Jake. And I forgive you."

**A/N: AGAIN, SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY!!!!!!!!! PLEASE REVIEW**


	33. Story Time

**A/N: okay, this chapter and the next will be Adam and Aurora's childhoods and then Alice and Bella and yes, even Jacob's lives after all this drama. I will then start the next one about Bella and Edward and Alice and Jasper in heaven, called "Princess Isabella and Sir Edward III: Final Forever" So, I'm guesstimating maybe 4 more chappies, epilogue included. Oh, the epilogue is gonna be amazing btw!!!. Please review!! B/c im starting to think no one likes the story anymore (frownie face)**

**Bella's POV**

There are many kinds of tears, for many kinds of things -Pain, sadness, loss. But there are also tears for joy. And for happiness. And for relief. And for the feeling of knowing that everything bad in your life is over. And knowing that something new is beginning- knowing that there is a happily ever after, after all.

Jacob and I were on much better terms. We put everything behind us and went back to being like best friends again. And I liked it this way. It was how things were supposed to be between us. I mean, we _did_ get separate rooms and we may not have been just like we used to be. I don't think they ever would- maybe they could, but I don't think I was ready just yet…

But believe me when I say life was better; Alice's children were adorable. Aurora was…a little too much like Alice, but cute- very vibrant and happy. She had a talent to cheer me and everyone up. And Adam was _the_ perfect image of Jasper. From the moment he was two years old, I noticed it. Not only appearance wise though; personality, voice, everything reminded me of Jasper. And everyone who had known Jasper saw it too- so I _knew_ Alice saw it.

Because I saw it in her eyes, everyday. Whenever he would run towards her, into her arms and hug or, when he would pretend he was knight and got that same valiant expression Jasper had when he was alive, Alice saw Jasper. For a while it got really bad, to the point she could barely look at Adam without first glowing with pride, and then turning away crying…

The twins had just turned 6 and they were playing a game- Aurora had borrowed one of my tiaras and was playing the princess, and Adam refused to play the prince; he wanted to be the brave hero.

"I wanna be a knight!!" he had proclaimed. "I don't wanna be a prince- that's no fun…" he had said.

"But if I'm the princess and you're my brother that means you _have_ to be a prince, silly!" Aurora sang.

"No I don't." he said.

"Hey, what's going on??" Alice said as she and I walked into the room. I scooped Aurora up in my arms, she laughed and I adjusted the tiara. "No fighting, I hope." Alice was the cool parent- she talked to her kids more like a teenage baby sitter at times, but she was strict when necessary.

"No, no fighting mommy. Its just that _I _wanna be a knight. But Aurora says I have to be a prince because she's a princess and I'm her brother." Alice's face froze for a moment, but she quickly recovered.

"Well you can be whatever you want." I said. "Umm…why do you want to be a knight?" I kept a close eye on Alice, but she looked okay.

"Because they're brave and strong and they fight for the kingdom." He said seriously. Ah, so young, so serious.

"Those are very good reasons." I said smiling.

"Thank you Auntie Bella." I smiled at my new title- more valuable and more meaningful that Queen or Princess. "What do you think, mommy?" he asked.

She adjusted him in her arms so that he faced her. "I think…you should be the prince for now. But you have you're whole life to think about it." Her voice cracked on the last few words. "Umm…I have to...go…"she said trying to sound happy. "But I'll be right back…Bella, if you could…?" I nodded and she placed Adam back on the floor. She hurried out of the room quickly and Adam watched her- the same concerned look Jasper had for Alice- stuck on his face.

Aurora still in my arms I strode over to a nearby rocking chair. "Adam, come over hear," I said beckoning him towards me. With a small pout on his face he toddled over and sat by my leg.

"Why doesn't mommy want me to be a knight? I thought she'd be proud…" he frowned and looked at the floor.

"Oh, Adam…" I reached down and ruffled his curly hair- another trait taken from his father. "Your mother will _always_ be proud of you. And no matter what, she'll always love you and support you. It's just…" I struggled for the right words. Alice had never really told the twins the story of her and Jasper- it was always a bed time story, with "the beautiful lady" and "the brave knight" replacing herself and Jasper. I figured now was a good time to tell them- this had been the 10th time these past few days she had to leave the kids with me. I heaved a heavy sigh and hoped Alice wouldn't hold this against me.

"Well, why don't we start…with a bed time story. Both of them- the princess, the beautiful lady and the two brave knights." Aurora gasped.

"You mean…they're the same story?"

"No, but they're connected- because the princess and the beautiful lady are best friends. And the two knights who rescued them, were best friends too." I smiled at the memory of Jasper and Edward, then heaved a heavy sigh. "So, the princess- let's call her…Marie…" I thought quickly, using my middle name. "Princess Marie was in love with Sir…Anthony…and she wasn't allowed to."

"Because Princesses can only marry royalty, not knights or commoners." Aurora finished.

"Right," I smiled. "Not with breaking the law at least… so Princess Marie and Sir Anthony had to meet in secret, because no one could find out that they were together. They did this for awhile…and it worked. Then Prince…Black (**does Jacob have a middle name?**) who was the princess's best friend, was having a birthday party. And before the birthday party, Princess Marie made the beautiful lady…Mary…ask Sir Anthony's best friend…Whitlock…to the party. And Sir Whitlock accepted. But after that night, Prince Black got jealous of Sir Edward and the princess. So once he found out they were together, he went to tell the king and queen."

"That's not very nice!!!" Aurora leaped out of my arms and crossed her own across her chest. "Now he's gonna ruin everything!! AI think I hate this Prince. I always hate this part of the story. But I know how the story ends, so it's okay." She smiled.

"Yeah…but you know how the story ends. But…this story has a different ending than before." We kind of changed the ending a little from before. I mean, we could have them go to bed after a 'and then the two knights died painful deaths. The end.'. we usually stopped at the part where Edward and I left and Alice and Jasper, leaving the rest to their imagination. "And the prince wasn't really a bad guy, after all."

"Yeah…I guess." She sighed. "Carry on." I smiled before continuing.

"So Prince Black was going to tell the king and queen, but he didn't. Instead, he asked her parents to let them get married. And the parents said yes. And when Marie found out she was very upset. So she ran to the king and queen begged them not to make her get married- and she told them about Sir Anthony. And they were going to put him-"

"To death." The twins said at the same time. I sighed nervously, but tried not to show my pain.

"That's right. So Marie and Anthony had to leave right away. And with the help of their friends Mary and Whitlock, they escaped."

"And they all lived happily ever after!" Aurora said. Oh, here came the hard part.

"No, honey. That's not all of the story. You're mother and I didn't want to tell you the rest until you were old enough- we'd wait until you were ready. But I think you're ready."

"I do too, Bella." Alice walked in, looker like her usual happier self. I smiled at her in relief. "This story," she began grabbing a chair, "has a different ending, but in the end, it was a happy one."

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW**


	34. Happy

**A/N: OMG. OMG. OMG. I AM A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PERSON AND I DON'T DESERVE UR HITS. BUT IF YOU GUYS WILL STILL READ IT I WILL STILL WRITE. **

**SO IF I CONTINUE THE STORY WOULD U GUYS READ IT?????**


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